Kindred Spirit Network Newsletter 16

The search for THE answer...

"So that's the way to do it" said Peter as he finished his presentation. "Does anyone have any questions?".

The audience stirred and some arms were raised. Before Peter could invite someone to speak, a lively young businessman shouted "I am sorry, but I don't think you are right, that's not the way to do it, you need to......" and he went on to tell the audience how Peter was wrong and how he was right.

Another hand went up in the air-a more experienced businessman this time. "I'm sorry, but you are both wrong" he said rather sternly. "I've been around a long time and I know how to do it......" and he told the audience how it should be done.

As he was speaking, another member of the audience started to interrupt him. "Oh no, no, no," he said, "I'm a business coach and consultant-I've been doing this stuff for years. You are all wrong, this is how you do it..."

I sat and watched in amazement and dismay as the problems of human beings in business and in life played out in front of me. Everyone was keen to know the "right way" to do "it" (which in this case was how to close a sale) and those with strong opinions wanted to convince the rest of the group that THEY had the answers.

So what did I learn from this early morning experience? That this is precisely where some of our problems in business and life can begin (in my humble view of course). Surely, there can be no single "way to do it". They can be no unique "answer" that leads us to the promised land. There may be ways that we have tried and failed to achieve things in our lives and ways that we have also learned what works for us, but who is to say that the same approach can work for everyone else?

Yes, there are pointers and guidelines, and we can certainly study the actions of others to see what has worked for them. But then comes the most important part. We have to decide for ourselves what works for us and what is congruent with our core being.

Everything we do is driven by our beliefs and values so when someone tells you that they know "the way to do it", they tell you this from their perspective. The only way we can be certain to achieve the success that is right for us is to first look inside ourselves.

Whilst safety, security and the essence of what is right and wrong may have been taught to us as children, as adults, we have been given the power of decision. A child trusts its intuition as it simply doesn't "know" yet. When a child falls over, they quickly know that to continue, they have to get up. No-one has told them how to do this-they just "know".

As adults, when we fall over (in a business or in life) we look around for others to help us and tell us how to avoid falling over in the future. Some of this advice and help can be just what we need, particularly if it's supportive. But if we also go into our silence and ask our inner voice to tell us the way to avoid falling over again, our inner voice will know. It will also filter the advice we have been given. We have learned all we need to learn. Logic may get in the way, but the answer will lie waiting for us.

So my journey (and it's just mine-yours could be different) has brought me to the point when I am tired of being told that "this is the way". Whether it be religion, politics, business or life, we are all far too quick to defend "our way" as the only way. Perhaps the world and business in particular would be a better place if we stopped trying to tell each other how to be and instead, helped each other find the "being" that we were put on this planet to be.

No judgments, no promises of "the answer" but just a simple desire to help each other to do what is right for our own path.

And you never know, that path could just lead us through the doorway to our soul...