This situation brought me closer to God.  Before this happened, I was just going through the motions, praying here and there, and reading my bible sometimes.  The fire and passion I once had was dead before this event.  I prayed and prayed for God to heal me, but I just didn't feel the wind of heaven on those prayers. I felt like God was leading me down a different path that I knew I did not want to take.  I was forced to make a choice that week before the surgery-should I get offended at God and turn my back on him or not?   There were moments when those thoughts enticed my mind, pulling and tempting me to get mad at God and just become numb to Him and everything around me. Though that temptation was there, I chose to go the other way.  I made the choice to believe that God is a good God.  I made the decision that bag or no bag I would worship God with all of my heart, and I would draw even nearer to Him through this situation.  On my bed over and over again I blessed the Lord with my worship and my praise. 

I remember after the surgery, I was in so much pain that the drugs they gave me didn't work. So, the nurse gave me stronger stuff and heavier doses, and I almost overdosed. When I sat up everything was a blur.  I was dripping with sweat, my blood pressure bottomed out, my heart rate was 150, and the nurse was seconds away from calling a code blue!  I almost died in the hospital, but they brought me back and were able to stabilize me. Crazy huh?  I remember 2 days after the surgery that I was in so much pain.  The place where they cut me open was throbbing with pain, and my back was killing me. I felt like I was being tortured. I remember complaining to God that I was suffering, and I asked Him if He could take the pain away.  I told Him I was suffering and nothing happened!  I asked him are you even with me; do you even care?  I will remember this moment for the rest of my life.   I clearly heard God say to me, "I am here with you. I am with you through all of this. I have always been here. I will be here to see you through this."  At that moment I told God, "Ok God, as long as you are here with me, I am ok with all of this." I started worshipping God with all of my heart in my hospital room that night.  Something changed in me through all of this. 

During this time, I had a chance to talk to my father whom I have not seen since I was 18; I am now 27. I called him and I told him what was going on. I asked him about my brothers, whom I have never met. I asked if they were troublemakers like I was, and he told me that they were good kids. Then he began to tell me how they were good because he spent time with them and that he had never spent time with us. He told me that he regretted that.  He made a mistake, and he thinks about it all the time. God used this situation to bring reconciliation between my father and me once and for all. I mean everything that I held against him, even the stuff I didn't know I held against him, broke off in an instant. The chains were loosed off of me! 

You sing that song Blessed Be Your Name and that one part, "you give and take away." I have sung it a hundred times.  I didn't take the time to prove it to God or throw it as a crown at His feet until this whole thing happened. I mean I prayed "do whatever you have to do God" and for some reason He took my prayers seriously. I don't regret a moment of this. I am grateful to God for what He has done in me and through me.  There is a renewed hunger for the presence of God and His purposes over my life like never before.  Now I have a battle wound to show as I share this testimony. I want to thank my wife, my mother, my in-laws, and everyone that has prayed for me and visited me. I love you guys! Oh by the way, there is no bag just a part of my intestine and colon and my appendix. Other than that I am fine.