"7 Tips for Being Footloose and Fancy Free While Dating"
#1 Treasure Hunting Attitude
As everyone is part of
spirit, show up ready to see the divine gift in your interaction (so
many blessings come when we treat each day like this!) Regardless of
whether or not this person is the one for you, it takes courage from
both parties to do this and most likely this person has some sort of
insight for you. The insight could be discovering something new that
you'd like in a relationship, or just as importantly something you
don't like. Often we don't know what we like and don't like until we
interact with others.
#2 Seeing the Divine in everyone
If we are present to the
divine in others, they're much more likely to be present to the divine
in us. And this is not to say that you don't recognize traits in them
that you know you don't like. It's just not taking those traits
personally, knowing that you don't have to say yes to anything that
would cross your boundaries AND still allowing the simple experience of
being with the Sacred in the other. You never know who you'll meet and
perhaps they may not be a love interest but a possible connection for
other reasons, work, art, play, friendship, a love interest for one of
your friends, who knows!
#3 Acknowledge and honor your time and theirs
If you know
that you're not interested in a second date, tell them sooner than
later. And the way you can soften this is by laying down your
intentions at the outset, right at the beginning before you get into
too much small talk, otherwise it'll sound like rejection. It may sound
something like, "I want to say right off the bat that I honor my
time and other people's time, so I want you to know that in case this
doesn't feel like a fit, I'll let you know as soon as possible. And I
wanted to know if you'd be interested/or willing to do the same for me."
Chivalry works for both sexes and it always feels good to know that you
are dealing with someone who has enough respect for you to be honest
with you. Also, how someone responds to this will tell you a lot
immediately.
#4 Have the date during something interesting and public
Dates
can feel like job interviews when the only objective is to sit in front
of one another and talk. Not everyone is great at small talk, nor do
you have to be to get to know one another. I suggest that the beginning
questions are done on-line and that by the time you meet for a first
date, arrange for something that you would enjoy doing together, say a
dance class, a walk (daytime, public) at most an hour long in case you
realize instantly that it's not a match... This helps you to see each
other in a less self-conscious space, and we can see a lot about a
person when we see them in activity. Also, if it doesn't work out, at
least you'll get a dance class out of it.
#5 Say "no" sooner than later.
You
don't need to walk off the dance floor, but allow yourself to venture
the statement before they ask, "so when are we seeing each other
again." It takes guts for a person to ask that question, and if you
already know it's not meant to be, save them from asking. And here are
a couple of truthful and honorable ways to depart.
-It always eases a "no" when we first acknowledge the other person
for what went well, what was "right" about them and then to take
responsibility for the no, like using "I" statements. For instance:
"I really enjoyed that dance, I can see how you have put a lot of
effort into that move...and I also realize that I don't feel like we're
a match. I want to honor both your time and mine and let you know as
soon as I knew it." (reminding them of what you said you'd do at the
beginning.)
And yes sometimes you may be rejected. Given that you helped to set
the stage for a respectful "no", honor the "no" and don't take it
personally, see it as respect that has been given for your time as
well.
#6 Have proper boundaries
No further justification nor explanation is necessary. If they push
for a reason, you can say, "I just get an intuitive no, who knows what
the universe has in store for us." Or if there is some kind of response
that is honest without being offensive, ie: it's important for me that
the person I date like Sushi, speak Spanish, like animals, etc. etc.
#7 Keep on playing!
Every experience serves you.
In sales, there is a statistic that you get a "yes" for a
prospective client only after talking to 10 people and after that often
only 1 out of 10 is a yes for a sale. As I teach the law of attraction,
we can drastically decrease these odds. However, there's also something
to be said for persistence. In my view, dating many people (if done
with the right attitude) can be an incredibly rich experience, where
you can discover new hobbies, regain faith in humanity, acquire
knowledge of your likes and dislikes, create community, and expand into
a fuller you because you'll gain confidence in the ability to talk and
interact with others.
Want to publish this article?
You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:
Cynthia
Tsai is a Spiritual Love Coach who helps people who believe in the Law
of Attraction to Manifest their Beloveds by understanding first and
foremost how to be that for themselves.
She publishes the monthly "Beloveds Unite!" Ezine where you'll get TIPS and stories that teach you
how manifest more love than you could possibly imagine. Get your Free
subscription and YOUR FULL SCHOLARSHIP to the Manifesting Your Beloved
2 Day Intensive at www.manifestingyourbeloved.com
