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Greetings!
Hello Beloved One! Have you ever wondered why so many marriages fail in the U.S.?
For those of you who know me and my work, you've heard me talk about the principle of the "key" vs. the "keeper". Well what I've discovered is that even if you have found your "keeper" there are marriage 'scripts' that can work against any relationship.
Below you'll find my article on my personal view as to why this the case as well as tips on how to create consciously if you are considering marriage.
Also, my first MARIN Intensive (30 min. north of SF) is happening July 28 & 29. It's beginning to fill up, so if you've had friends who have always wanted to come and haven't been able to make it down to Santa Cruz please forward them this email!
All love,
Cynthia Tsai
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Why So Many Marriages Fail...
So Drew and I are sitting at North Point Cafe that looks over the beautiful Sausalito Bay this afternoon. We've devoted this entire weekend in Marin to vision what we want the next 6 months to 1 year to look like (from me becoming a fluent hula hooper, to him windsurfing more). More importantly, we're designing our sacred commitment ceremony and larger life visions. It has been a blissful process where we started off the morning at Toast in Mill Valley for a yummy breakfast and then sauntered over to The Depot (bookstore and Cafe) to grab magazines for our visioning collage boards. He's been guiding the schedule of the day, making sure that we support each other in our individual life goals as well as our mutual creative visions, and ensuring that we have snuggle breaks.
Syrupyly sickening isn't it? I shake my head now because this is such a far cry from where I was, 1999, wandering around Soho, feet blistering, looking for the perfect stationary store to print my wedding invitations. I was determined that they would be exquisite, original, and uniquely "my essence". (Obviously my ex-fiance's complete disinterest in the wedding planning hadn't set off any alarm bells yet). And then I found it. Kate's Paperie.
It was the perfect place, and it would be able to do the embossing of the dogwood sketch I had for the front of the invitations. Dogwoods, they're beautiful aren't they? Even though I had never seen one live before and they weren't going to be anywhere near the Point Reyes location of the wedding or even blossoming for that matter in September. (Dogwoods blossom in the spring). No, I just WANTED THEM ON THE INVITATIONS. 
I was like Martha Stewart on crack.
I would find myself saying, things like, "I must have seashell napkin
holders with real abalone trim" and debating on what to engrave on the
silver mint julep cups that everyone would get as a gift.
It was female porn. And it was a script. Images, behavior that weren't indigenous to my consciousness played themselves out like a bad record. I didn't know at the time that when you step into certain cultural constructs, you are available to all of its deep-set beliefs. It's the same thing with age in our culture. And I went about completely unconscious, shelling out tens of thousands of dollars without understanding the marriage industry, nor understanding my own deep-set constructs about what marriage meant to me at the time.
It wasn't until I raced home one night from grad school to stir fry some vegetables for dinner, and felt my own face transform into my mother's (literally the way my arms moved, the furrowed brow that she used to have) that I started to realize that I was unconsciously replaying what my parents considered "marriage". Yes, my partner loved me deeply but he didn't really want marriage (and thank God for that). Our relationship was a "key" where we had helped each other to become more fully expressed. He was often criticized by friends and foes alike as "selfish". Well, he offered me a wonderful key to understand how to honor my own needs more. Marriage, however would have been disastrous. My parents, though still married, had the script that marriage=survival. Though marriage felt like a prison to my mother, they were immigrants and believed that as long as that partnership sustained, no matter how painful it was, meant that they would survive. The alternative to them was death. Not a fun record to replay over and over again...
Spiritually speaking, so many of us have had dysfunctional family backgrounds, and the unconscious script we absorb is part of our spiritual challenge to overcome. And the work to be done here is really not work at all but expanding yourself to be the person who can entertain an extraordinary partnership and love. Often however, we cling to our cultural constructs for dear life, not knowing that the death of ego-based reasons for being in a relationship are what will open the door for the magnificence that the Universe has in store.
So here are some hard earned tips to help you see clearly through the unconscious cultural indoctrination of marriage and discover whether or not the person you are with is someone you ought to marry and even whether or not marriage is the right thing for you.
1. Make sure that there isn't resistance on either side to getting married. Get marriage counseling before rather than after. And if a partner is still dragging their heels, then you may have to ask yourself why are you with someone who doesn't want what you want? Is it because part of you believes that it has to be hard work, that men/women are afraid of commitment and you have to 'convince' them otherwise? Are you doing this to prove something to others or even yourself? Unlike principles of athleticism, or business practices, fear in relationship belies trust and larger compatibility issues and if it hasn't been resolved by the time the marriage question comes up then marriage, most often won't solve it.
2. Also, spend some time to really explore what the ritual means to each person, ask simple but powerful questions like: What does this mean to you? What are your fears and can they be easily cleared when they come to light? Who in your community would you like to have there and why? How does this ceremony accommodate and express both of your visions of celebration of your union? If there is resistance to both members participating in the co-creation of the event then know that the event may signify very different things to the different parties.
3. Explore rituals and ceremonies that may not have the charge of marriage. Like I said, marriage as a cultural construct comes with a lot of baggage, including that wonderful statistic that 50% of people get divorced. Shows like Married with Children, Everybody Loves Raymond don't help the matter.To counteract the negative programming that exists, fill your consciousness with examples of what a beautiful marriage or partnership looks like.
So Drew and I recently moved into a large newly renovated Arts & Crafts style 6 bedroom house. Up-scale communal living is what I like to call it. We wanted a large place without the burden of owning a home and evenings filled with interesting conversations over dinner. Well one of our house mates is an interior decorator and all around genius, her house title is the House Beautifier. We always look forward to her weekly flower arrangements. A few weeks ago I walked in to find branches with gorgeous white flowers bedecking every room. They took my breathe away. I asked her what they were and she said, "dogwoods from our backyard". At that moment I heard the Universe say, "see, you had the dream right, just not the right mate."
If you liked this article you will definitely love the Manifesting Your Beloved 2 Day Intensive where you'll learn the principles to having a Beloved for the rest of your life!
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Manifesting Your Beloved 2 Day Intensive
COMING TO MARIN!!!
 "Are you finally ready to have the LOVE of your Dreams?"Imagine:
- Breaking through old emotional resistance (with lightening speed and a hilarious new method)
- Discovering Your Divine Relationship Blueprint - so that you can immediately see if the person in front of you is a "key" (to your Beloved) or a keeper (the Beloved himself)
- Anchoring into your body your Divine Feminine essence (the source of easy creation, abundance, beauty and ecstasy) and know how to access it instantly, always!
- Learning how to receive and practice divine guidance. Participate in a live demonstration of synchronicity and learn how to use it to guide you.
- Freeing yourself from all negative beliefs about men and relationships.
Here's what some women who've attended have had to say:
"I have attended many workshops, classes, etc. on manifesting the relationships of your life, so to speak and this workshop was so different, so unique-truly a spiritual as well as practical process. I'm both impressed and grateful to and for Cynthia who has such a unique and clear method of teaching. What a blessed weekend!"
-Lucy Fassbinder Speech & Language Pathologist
"You will NOT believe this!! (OH YES YOU WILL!!!!!)...but
I have have met a man who is quite a bit younger than me...he's
AMAZING! He has the qualities I put in my DRBP (Divine relationship
Blueprint) he's so amazingly tuned in, spiritual and seems to speak
directly into my heart! I'm shaking my head going DARN that was FAST
girl~!! But I am taking it slow because I know that he may just be a
'key' and not the'keeper' but I am looking for what he is to teach me
about myself he's loving and kind and gentle and sweet and
amazingly handsome! I'm blown away!!!!! Well, I asked for 'young at
heart' and I didn't imagine this beautiful man was on his way into my
life!! WOO! HOO!!!" - Linda Schultz
Click Here to get your FULL SCHOLARSHIP to the Manifesting Your Beloved 2 Day Intensive!
July 28 & 29th in Marin
&
August 11 & 12th in Santa Cruz
All love,
Cynthia
PS Please let your friends and loved ones know about our Full Scholarship. Simply forward this email to your friends by clicking "Forward email to someone you love" at the bottom of this e-mail.
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Be an Ambassador of Love, earn Beloved $$$
We are launching are Beloved Affilitate Program! Earn Beloved Dollars ($10) everytime your friend attends an Intensive, and 20% of the Manifesting Your Beloved Take Home Course ($59) if they purchase it on-line, or 5% of any program they purchase. You can redeem your Beloved dollars as cash or put it towards any Beloved program or informational product!
It's easy,free and you can sign up by clicking below:
The Beloved Affiliate Program
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About Cynthia
 Cynthia Tsai's life work is to inspire others to live life in an ecstatic way. A self-avowed perfectionist/overachiever turned intuitive love healer, Cynthia helps people re-connect to their own divine essence and sense of wholeness in order to pull in a divine partner. Cynthia is the founder of the Manifesting Your Beloved 2 Day Intensive. Call us today for your FULL SCHOLARSHIP to the Manifesting Your Beloved 2 day Intensive 831-427-3490.
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email us at: cynthia@manifestingyourbeloved.com
phone: 831-427-3490
visit us on the web at: www.manifestingyourbeloved.com
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Cynthia & Drew on the Big Island
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