|Welcome to Impressions
At Beverly Hills Manners™ we believe that creating a positive first impression is critical. We are judged rightly or wrongly in a matter of seconds and that is what “Impressions”is all about. Whether in the home or office, we will share with you expert tips and advice that will empower you to feel confident in any situation.
In every issue of “Impressions” we offer you diverse ways to experience etiquette. Take a peek at our Etiquette Recipe of the month where you will learn how to combine key ingredients to cook up great manners. Don’t miss Just for Kids to find wonderful and creative ways to explore the world of etiquette with your children. Join Diane and Lisa in a Tea Room Discussion where they review news topics straight from the headlines. Diane imparts her Grandmother’s Wisdom with a personal take on the joys of grand-parenting and instilling the virtues of civility into her children and grandchildren. Visit our Grace Notes Patio for answers to all of your burning etiquette questions. In our Features section, we highlight a “woman of elegance”, that role model within your community that all of us should applaud and recognize. Lastly, and most importantly we wish to hear from you our dear readers and supporters. Send your comments and questions to email@example.com.
May your first impression be not only positive, but lasting.
Fall – New Beginnings
As the fall season approaches, we venture into a period of new beginnings. We exchange our swimsuits and summer gear for new school clothes, books, and more disciplined schedules. There is always something exhilarating with these cyclical changes for as one slips away we embrace the newness of the next. Each season brings with it opportunities for fresh beginnings. Our lives will have more meaning in today’s hectic and crazy world if we seize the gift of reflection and preparation this fall season.
Halloween can be a wonderful and fun-filled time not only for the little ones, but also for adults. There are some basic etiquette rules however, that we all need to observe. Enjoy our tips on how to survive the night of fright!
This is truly reserved for children with sixteen or seventeen being the absolute maximum! The reason is obvious for traditionally Halloween was reserved for children who enjoyed dressing up in their favorite costumes and going door to door to receive those wonderful sugary treats.
It is perfectly acceptable to travel outside one’s own neighborhood, particularly, for children who live in a hillside neighborhood without sidewalks or for children who may be living in a neighborhood that is less than child-friendly. Many adults may just turn off their lights as this is always a clue to children that they are not participating in the ritual and may not even be home. However, if you do decide to leave your neighborhood, the next best thing is to trick-or-treat in a neighborhood that you are familiar with or that is the neighborhood of a friend.
As far as costumes for children, the general rule is that they be kid-friendly. Politically comical outfits or very scary horror costumes are not considered appropriate. With regards to costumes that older teens and adults may choose your imagination is the limit, however, etiquette only dictates that whatever you choose or make, be considerate of others. You only have to ask one question, is my costume disrespectful or would it offend or scare another person at the party? If yes, then make another choice. Oftentimes, we think only about ourselves and not of others. Let’s have a little respect for our friends and enjoy the day with good humor.
General Halloween Etiquette Tips
» Halloween is a perfect “training” time to teach your children to take only one candy and be sure to say “thank you”. After just a few visits, your two year old will be an expert!
» At least one parent should accompany children up to at least the age of twelve.
» Make sure to speak with children about general safety rules, staying with their group, and if older, curfew time.
» Parents should check the treats of the younger children before they eat them.
» Children should never eat anything that is handmade or specially prepared (unless you know the family).
Just For Kids
Fall is here and the leaves on the trees are turning beautiful colors. There is no better time to go outdoors and share nature walks and enjoy the foliage with your children. Make this a fun excursion and an opportunity to explore natures wonders. Before heading out, there are a few things to remember.
» Leave everything where you find it. All vertebrates are protected by Provincial and State laws and all parks have bylaws to protect all parts of nature including rocks, shells, cones, etc. Leave things for others to enjoy.
» Turn rocks, logs and leaves back over and fill in holes when you are done.
» Let the animals find their own food. When we feed animals, we get them accustomed to our presence and they lose the fear of humans. This becomes dangerous for both the humans and the animal as if they hurt us, they are often destroyed.
Leave the area as you found it or better. Carry out your garbage and stay on the trails.
» Look at Nature. Before a visit to the park, have your child decorate two toilet paper rolls. Staple them together to make mini-binoculars. Take them outside for a game of “I Spy” looking for items from nature. Look for things nearby, in middle range and far away.
» Discover Color in Nature. Get 10 old paint swatches of various natural colors from a paint store. Cut them into individual squares and take these and your child to a natural area. One at a time, have your child look for each color in nature. You will be amazed at what colors you can find if you really look
Tea Room Discussion
"School Says Halloween Disrespectful to Witches"
District Bans a Planned Celebration, Calling It a Waste of Time
As we prepare for the Halloween festivities for our children, we were intrigued by an article reported by ABC News about a local school board who banned all Halloween festivities. We certainly support some of the reasons for the ban, but really we believe perhaps “thou doth protest too much”. What do you think?
We realize that we live in a multi-cultural world. Schools for years have incorporated “cultural awareness” days and have added international awareness festivities and celebrations to their curriculums. We applaud all these efforts. However, what all of us must not forget is the historical perspective.
In building good character among our youth, there always has to be a historical perspective incorporated into their training. If they do not have an understanding of the values and foundations that have made America great then as educators we have failed in educating our youth.
How quickly we forget that America was, and is, the only country that is a “melting pot” representing many cultures and religions. We are not all separate communities, but a blend making a rich tapestry with each fiber contributing to its strength. However, with such a blending we are Americans first, with different historical backgrounds and cultures.
How does this relate to the banning of a simple Halloween celebration?
We feel it represents what is happening at a very subtle level within America. People in leadership positions, the school board here as an example, certainly are willing to throw out a festivity that has historical routes for the sake of a very small few.
We are seeing this happen not only in our schools, but also throughout the federal, state and local government. People in leadership are changing logos and with a quick stroke of the pen eliminating history in exchange for a quick, almost knee-jerk reaction to any sort of controversy or objection.
In short, we are not so much concerned with the banning of the celebration because they can easily celebrate Halloween after school or make some other kind of arrangements. What we are addressing here is the subtle encroachment that you have a school board cave to an infinitesimal percentage of parents who objected to this celebration.
Perhaps what most concerns us as parents is that we intuitively know the value of traditions and history that we bring to our families. These create memories and our traditions are carried on by the next generation. When you eliminate these types of celebrations, as innocuous as they seem to be, we slowly are participating in the eroding of the family, of society and of our nation.
These are our thoughts! Let us here from you!
“The future of society is in the hands of the mothers. If the world was lost through woman, she alone can save it.” ~De Beaufort
Diane & Lisa
We are pleased to dedicate this section to all the grandparents who are wondering what has happened to our culture and all the traditions we so value and cherish.
Here we invite you to share with us your family rituals and traditions as we shall pass them onto this generation of parents who truly want to bring their children up to be civil and honorable citizens of the world. Generations come and go, but the traditions and rituals incorporate the values and legacy of that society or culture.
Along with traditions and rituals, do you know the number one secret we as grandparents share? It’s not about how much money we have or how many toys we buy. It all revolves around the one thing a child wants more than anything else in the world … time. Here are a few favorite things my grandchildren have shared with me!
Time to just…
Read a story before going to bed
Sit by the lake and count the fish as they swim by
Hold my hand and take a walk
Play tea party with old and beautiful heirlooms
Be there for my game and watch me play
Bake cookies together even when I make such a mess
Tickle my tummy and make me laugh
Magically blowing the traffic light green when it is red!
Pick lemons off the tree
Let me eat ice cream for breakfast!
Whisper in my ear how much you love me
Make a wish on the four-leaf clover
So today my “grandmother’s advice” to you is to take time. Perhaps today you will exchange that swimming or dancing class for a special time with you alone into the magical world of a child which at the blink of an eye will be gone forevermore!
Grace Notes Patio
With Halloween right around the corner, test your knowledge and see if you can answer these questions for both children and adults!
Questions for Children:
• What is the signal that a house is “participating” in this evening ritual of “trick or treat?”
• If a bowl of candy is left on the front porch, should you: (a) take a handful? or (b) take just one piece?
• If you are given a piece of candy, what magic words can you use to show your gratitude?
• If you are unaccompanied by a parent or guardian and asked to enter a home, what would you do and why?
• Is it alright to eat from your bag of candy while trick-or-treating?
Questions for Adults:
- Your office is having a Halloween party, but you are uncomfortable dressing in a costume, what can you do?
- A business colleague is wearing something embarrassing at the office party, what can you say or do?
- You work for a bank and came dressed in costume, when you arrived nobody was dressed up! What should you do?
- If you do not wish to participate in Halloween, what can you do to alert the trick-or-treaters?
- True or false, it is ok to pass out those delicious cookies that grandma always made for Halloween.
Answers for Children:
- Keep your front door light on to show you are participating in Halloween festivities.
- Be courteous as there will be many more trick-or-treaters after you! You should take only one piece and don’t spend time searching through the bowl to pick the best “treat”
- As always, “thank you,” is the gracious response.
- It is never appropriate to enter a home when invited when a parent or guardian is not with you. If you are accompanied, and the guardian says it is all right you can enter as long as they go with you.
- Do not eat anything that is not wrapped. Also, we recommend you not engage in eating your treats until you parents have given their approval. If you must have one of those scrumptious morsels, then plan a stop home. You can always venture out and continue in your fun that evening.
Answers for Adults:
- You don’t ever have to feel you must dress in a Halloween costume, when at the office. The key is to be sincere that you just preferred not to dress up in the office – but certainly have fun and enjoy the day with your colleagues who have participated.
- Avert your eyes and try to ignore your colleague! He or she will get the message and may even feel embarrassed themselves. Remember, if their costume offended you it most likely has offended many others.
- You should quickly apologize to your supervisor and ask to be excused to go and change. Hopefully, you can do this at the office and not have to go home!
- The signal that you are NOT participating in trick or treat – just close all windows, curtains, blinds, and turn off your front door/porch light.
- Unfortunately times have changed – and no longer should you eat anything that is home-made or not properly wrapped. The only exception would be if you attended a friend’s home and knew the people who baked these goodies!
In this section we wish to feature YOU, our prized reader! We are looking for that special role model within your community, that quintessential woman of elegance and style. She works diligently either within the home, workplace or both, always reserving time to help others within her community. She creates a positive first impression when you meet her as she exudes grace and dignity. What is extraordinary with each encounter is that she leaves you feeling better about yourself. She is truly a remarkable woman of refinement.
Send us a picture and brief outline highlighting what makes her so special. We wish to celebrate these women and will look forward to sharing them with the world. **
Submit your candidate’s picture and profile to firstname.lastname@example.org
**Must be 18 years or older please!