At Beverly Hills Manners™ we believe that creating a positive first impression is critical.  We are judged rightly or wrongly in a matter of seconds and that is what “Impressions”is all about.  Whether in the home or office, we will share with you expert tips and advice that will empower you to feel confident in any situation.

In every issue of “Impressions” we offer you diverse ways to experience etiquette.  Take a peek at our Etiquette Recipe of the month where you will learn how to combine key ingredients to cook up great manners.  Don’t miss Just for Kids to find wonderful and creative ways to explore the world of etiquette with your children.  Join Diane and Lisa in a Tea Room Discussion where they review news topics straight from the headlines.  Diane imparts her Grandmother’s Wisdom with a personal take on the joys of grand-parenting and instilling the virtues of civility into her children and grandchildren. Visit our Grace Notes Patio for answers to all of your burning etiquette questions.  In our Features section, we highlight a “woman of elegance”, that role model within your community that all of us should applaud and recognize.  Lastly, and most importantly we wish to hear from you our dear readers and supporters. Send your comments and questions to impressions@beverlyhillsmanners.com.  

May your first impression be not only positive, but lasting.

Upcoming Classes in November • “Perfectly Polished & Poised” – Saturday, November 3rd @ Smashbox Studios • “Introductory Course” – Sunday, November 4th @ Hillcrest Country Club • “Introductory Course with Holiday Manners” – Saturday, November 24 @ McCormick & Schmicks

As the fall season approaches, we venture into a period of new beginnings.  We exchange our swimsuits and summer gear for new school clothes, books, and more disciplined schedules. There is always something exhilarating with these cyclical changes for as one slips away we embrace the newness of the next.  Each season brings with it opportunities for fresh beginnings.  Our lives will have more meaning in today’s hectic and crazy world if we seize the gift of reflection and preparation this fall season.

Halloween Etiquette
Halloween can be a wonderful and fun-filled time not only for the little ones, but also for adults.  There are some basic etiquette rules however, that we all need to observe.  Enjoy our tips on how to survive the night of fright!

Trick-or-Treating
This is truly reserved for children with sixteen or seventeen being the absolute maximum!  The reason is obvious for traditionally Halloween was reserved for children who enjoyed dressing up in their favorite costumes and going door to door to receive those wonderful sugary treats.   

Neighborhoods 
It is perfectly acceptable to travel outside one’s own neighborhood, particularly, for children who live in a hillside neighborhood without sidewalks or for children who may be living in a neighborhood that is less than child-friendly. Many adults may just turn off their lights as this is always a clue to children that they are not participating in the ritual and may not even be home.  However, if you do decide to leave your neighborhood, the next best thing is to trick-or-treat in a neighborhood that you are familiar with or that is the neighborhood of a friend.   

Costumes
As far as costumes for children, the general rule is that they be kid-friendly.  Politically comical outfits or very scary horror costumes are not considered appropriate.  With regards to costumes that older teens and adults may choose your imagination is the limit, however, etiquette only dictates that whatever you choose or make, be considerate of others.  You only have to ask one question, is my costume disrespectful or would it offend or scare another person at the party?  If yes, then make another choice.  Oftentimes, we think only about ourselves and not of others.  Let’s have a little respect for our friends and enjoy the day with good humor.

General Halloween Etiquette Tips
» Halloween is a perfect “training” time to teach your children to take only one candy and be sure to say “thank you”.  After just a few visits, your two year old will be an expert!
» At least one parent should accompany children up to at least the age of twelve.
» Make sure to speak with children about general safety rules, staying with their group, and if older, curfew time.
» Parents should check the treats of the younger children before they eat them.
» Children should never eat anything that is handmade or specially prepared (unless you know the family).

Just For Kids

Fall is here and the leaves on the trees are turning beautiful colors.  There is no better time to go outdoors and share nature walks and enjoy the foliage with your children.  Make this a fun excursion and an opportunity to explore natures wonders.  Before heading out, there are a few things to remember. 

Nature Etiquette

Leave the area as you found it or better.  Carry out your garbage and stay on the trails. 

Activities

"School Says Halloween Disrespectful to Witches"

ABC News

District Bans a Planned Celebration, Calling It a Waste of Time

As we prepare for the Halloween festivities for our children, we were intrigued by an article reported by ABC News about a local school board who banned all Halloween festivities.  We certainly support some of the reasons for the ban, but really we believe perhaps “thou doth protest too much”. What do you think?

We realize that we live in a multi-cultural world. Schools for years have incorporated “cultural awareness” days and have added international awareness festivities and celebrations to their curriculums.  We applaud all these efforts.  However, what all of us must not forget is the historical perspective.

In building good character among our youth, there always has to be a historical perspective incorporated into their training.  If they do not have an understanding of the values and foundations that have made America great then as educators we have failed in educating our youth.

How quickly we forget that America was, and is, the only country that is a “melting pot” representing many cultures and religions.  We are not all separate communities, but a blend making a rich tapestry with each fiber contributing to its strength.  However, with such a blending we are Americans first, with different historical backgrounds and cultures. 

How does this relate to the banning of a simple Halloween celebration?

We feel it represents what is happening at a very subtle level within America.  People in leadership positions, the school board here as an example, certainly are willing to throw out a festivity that has historical routes for the sake of a very small few. 

We are seeing this happen not only in our schools, but also throughout the federal, state and local government.  People in leadership are changing logos and with a quick stroke of the pen eliminating history in exchange for a quick, almost knee-jerk reaction to any sort of controversy or objection. 

In short, we are not so much concerned with the banning of the celebration because they can easily celebrate Halloween after school or make some other kind of arrangements.  What we are addressing here is the subtle encroachment that you have a school board cave to an infinitesimal percentage of parents who objected to this celebration. 

Perhaps what most concerns us as parents is that we intuitively know the value of traditions and history that we bring to our families.  These create memories and our traditions are carried on by the next generation.  When you eliminate these types of celebrations, as innocuous as they seem to be, we slowly are participating in the eroding of the family, of society and of our nation.

These are our thoughts! Let us here from you!

“The future of society is in the hands of the mothers.  If the world was lost through woman, she alone can save it.”   ~De Beaufort

Diane & Lisa

Grandmother’s Wisdom

We are pleased to dedicate this section to all the grandparents who are wondering what has happened to our culture and all the traditions we so value and cherish. 

Here we invite you to share with us your family rituals and traditions as we shall pass them onto this generation of parents who truly want to bring their children up to be civil and honorable citizens of the world.  Generations come and go, but the traditions and rituals incorporate the values and legacy of that society or culture.

Along with traditions and rituals, do you know the number one secret we as grandparents share?  It’s not about how much money we have or how many toys we buy.  It all revolves around the one thing a child wants more than anything else in the world … time.   Here are a few favorite things my grandchildren have shared with me!

Time to just…

Read a story before going to bed
Sit by the lake and count the fish as they swim by
Hold my hand and take a walk
Play tea party with old and beautiful heirlooms
Be there for my game and watch me play
Bake cookies together even when I make such a mess
Tickle my tummy and make me laugh
Sing together
Magically blowing the traffic light green when it is red!
Pick lemons off the tree
Let me eat ice cream for breakfast!
Whisper in my ear how much you love me
Make a wish on the four-leaf clover

So today my “grandmother’s advice” to you is to take time.  Perhaps today you will exchange that swimming or dancing class for a special time with you alone into the magical world of a child which at the blink of an eye will be gone forevermore!

Diane

Grace Notes Patio

With Halloween right around the corner, test your knowledge and see if you can answer these questions for both children and adults!

Questions for Children:   

Questions for Adults:

• Your office is having a Halloween party, but you are uncomfortable dressing in a costume, what can you do?
• A business colleague is wearing something embarrassing at the office party, what can you say or do?
• You work for a bank and came dressed in costume, when you arrived nobody was dressed up!  What should you do?
• If you do not wish to participate in Halloween, what can you do to alert the trick-or-treaters?
• True or false, it is ok to pass out those delicious cookies that grandma always made for Halloween.

Answers for Children:

• Keep your front door light on to show you are participating in Halloween festivities.
• Be courteous as there will be many more trick-or-treaters after you!  You should take only one piece and don’t spend time searching through the bowl to pick the best “treat”
• As always, “thank you,” is the gracious response.
• It is never appropriate to enter a home when invited when a parent or guardian is not with you.  If you are accompanied, and the guardian says it is all right you can enter as long as they go with you.
• Do not eat anything that is not wrapped.  Also, we recommend you not engage in eating your treats until you parents have given their approval.  If you must have one of those scrumptious morsels, then plan a stop home.  You can always venture out and continue in your fun that evening.

Answers for Adults: