More about Relationships      

P'taah's Message for November 2011 

Q: Why do people today seem to have such a difficult time committing to relationships? There seems to be such a lack of commitment.

P'taah: Well you know, beloved, it is so much about fear. After all, not too long ago in your culture, when you came into relationship and said 'I will marry' or whatever that meant, it was forever, and we say that is not necessary.

In truth, your idea about commitment is also a grand limitation because it is not necessary that you have a committed relationship. The only absolute commitment that is beneficial to you is simply this: To become all that you can possibly be and to see where it is that you are committed in your love for who you are. Then you are committed in love to everybody in your life.

And the need, the need to have somebody to fill the empty space is not there. That desire to have somebody to share the miracle of you is wondrous but for as long as you are in need, you are coming from a place of lack and from a place of fear. And the universe will support that absolutely. When you are in the fear of the betrayal, the abandonment, of no commitment, then that is what you will create. Does that make sense?

Q: Yes it does. I guess a further extension of that would be that it seems as if people today are not willing to communicate and talk things out. I think some relationships could continue if people were willing to work on them.

P'taah:  You know, my beloved, it is that which is termed vulnerability. If I show you who I truly am, then you will not love me. If I bare my heart to you, you will put a knife in it. And in any confrontation where one is vulnerable, there can be no confrontation. And the truth is that your vulnerability in any relationship is your means of power. You see?

And so when you can be who you are -- and you may only be who you are when you love who you are, when you can state forth your truth, when you can take responsibility and state forth in your relationships when such and such occur, "I feel wounded. I feel disempowered. I feel that I am not heard. I am afraid of being betrayed. I am afraid of abandonment," you see? -- when you can speak forth the truth, then indeed you are changing the tenor of that relationship.

And we are not only speaking of your love relationships, indeed, but in all relationships. When you can speak forth the truth of you, then your relationship will change.

Q: Yes, I understand that. That is what I'm asking you why it seems like people are less willing to bare themselves today, to be vulnerable?

P'taah: Oh beloved. We do not say that that is so! Because indeed in your society, your culture has a heritage of absolutely not saying your truth. It is too dangerous. It is not a new thing.  

However, as more and more of you become familiar with the concept called 'speaking your truth', called 'being who you are', called 'being vulnerable', called 'being in the taking of responsibility', etc. etc., then when you come across somebody who is not in this place, indeed it will seem extraordinary.

And to be in that place of vulnerability is still very scary for many people, for all of you, really, at some time or another, hmm? So we would say in this timing, there are more peoples who are coming to this new way of beingness than ever before in your culture. This is grand, indeed!  

Q: Did we have relationship contracts before we come here?

P'taah: You do, of course, because before you birth yourselves, you have a relationship contract with your family; with that which be chosen parents and siblings. And certainly there are peoples with whom you have had thousands of lifetimes with whom you desire to share some part of your life.

You know many of you think only of that which be lover that you have been with before and it is not so. Very often it is your friends. Very often it is simply people who come into the periphery of your life but that you simply desire to have that sharing, be it ever so brief really, or vague. You know it is not necessary that it become a deep and passionate involvement. So indeed you recreate and recreate and recreate lifetime after lifetime, peoples in your lives.

Q: And so before they incarnate they decide that they aren't going to have a primary lover type of relationship so that they can do other work?

P'taah: You cannot exist in your life without love. Love relationships -- every relationship you have is a love relationship, you see? But indeed there are many of you who have designed it that you will not bring forth issue, that you will have no children, that you will have no spouse, that you will be very busy with other matters of being.

It is the same thing if you are involved in that which be sexuality because there are many of you who do not come into this kind of relationship or that kind of relationship because of your sexual preferences. Or indeed because you are not desiring that which be sexual relationship or that you are quite asexual for one reason or another. You see?

Q: Yes.

P'taah: And so there is no judgement about this and every relationship is valid. It does not matter what kind of relationship. Wherever peoples come together and there is an emotional response or reaction or interaction, that is a relationship. Each is as valid as another, hmm?  
 
Q: But could it be that someone has a very strong desire to have that kind of relationship, but they actually had a contract not to have one?

P'taah: Oh beloved, you could say so either way. But, you know, you do have a choice. If you understand the master game plan, it will not be an issue because if it is the desire of your heart to have a spouse, you will have a spouse. You are here transmuting fear in this lifetime to fill that which be the desires of the heart. You understand?     

 P'taah