Greetings!

Like most therapy practices in August, the Institute has gotten a little quieter over the past week or two. I don't think I've ever been so grateful for a break from seeing a full load of patients. We are almost upon our first year anniversary, and the past year certainly was action-packed.

The temporary lull has also given me the opportunity to work on a book proposal. The topic, of course, is sex. I haven't seen a book quite like this before, and I'll be telling you more in the months ahead.

Learn this month about my perspective of lack of time for pleasure, and on the effects on antidepressants on one's ability to love. There weren't many weird stories this last month--must be the economy--but the one I dug up is worth a giggle.

What hip area is complete without a Nike store, especially in a city that prepares year 'round for their marathon? In fact, it was impossible to miss that there was a constant foot beat of runners all over the sidewalks of Boston, perhaps spurred by this clever piece of advertising lettered on the front window of the store: "Someone busier than you is running right now."

Good point, I thought, as we sauntered down by. How many of us make the excuse that we're busy in order to avoid exercise?

In an instant, my mind rewrote the ad as, "Someone busier than you is having sex right now." Now here was something people could relate to!

What about you? Is this your excuse for not having sex? Can you figure out how to find 20 minutes or so every few days for pleasure? What about:

• Setting the alarm a few minutes early?
• Sneaking off from your neighbor's son's fifth birthday party to "do some laundry"?
• Trading babysitting and one night a week with a friend?
• Recruiting a relative to take junior to karate on Tuesdays?
• Meeting at home for lunch?
• Dropping the kids off at school and circling back to the Okay Corral for a little roundup?
• Skipping the Friday night beer and pizza meet-up once a month?

I assure you, there are more creative ideas than these for carving out a little time for intimate expression-if you don't want to have your relationship teeter because no one's been minding its health.

I'm not sure I completely agree with Dr. Fisher. While studying the evolution of the brain and its chemistry for the purpose of understanding human mating habits is commendable, I think making largely unsupported statements about antidepressants quashing love is distressing.

First, untreated depression often damages love-not the medication that can help relieve it. Half the people who come into my office with low sexual desire are depressed and don't realize it. They complain of sad mood, fatigue, emotional numbness, and isolating from their partner and others. They stop enjoying what used to be fun, and they feel bad about themselves.

Not all with decide to try an antidepressant, but some do. As their mood and energy levels are revived, guess what? No, sorry, they don't magically want more sex. But with a little exploration about their sexuality and a little support from their partner, they usually will become more amorous.

Dr. Fisher's statement is distressing for another reason. Here is another scientist telling people not to take antidepressants. I have people in my office all the time that I believe would be helped by medication resisting because of statements in the media. I don't think everyone who is depressed needs medication- there are many natural things that can be tried first like exercise, scheduling pleasurable activities, changing your negative thoughts, making sure you get enough sleep, and so forth.

But some people have chronic or severe depression, and are beyond the place where a natural approach is useful. Also, although I no longer see many severely depressed people in my practice, I know that depression can deepen very quickly and bring people to try suicide-and sometimes they succeed.

I can't help but wonder if Dr. Fisher extrapolated her ideas from the fact that some people (not all) find their libido is compromised by antidepressants. Actually, I have found that, upon interview, many of those people say they had a problem with drive before using medication. They and others often find this problem goes away with time or a change in medicine.

If you see a Really Weird Sex Story somewhere, feel free to send along the link to me at the email address on this page.

I was also quoted on the use of music to enhance sexual experience on Women's Health website, and yesterday I was contacted by a reporter from Esquire to find out if it was really possible to restart one's sexual relationship in a long-term relationship when it's gone sour. (Of course! I should know, my husband and I have been together 26 years this month. Yike!)

In October, I'll be speaking to medical staff at Loma Linda Hospital on the topic of sexuality during and after cancer treatment, then meeting with their cancer survivors support group to give a talk and answer questions.

Though it is quieter than usual, we are still busy. This year we have served over 150 patients! How is that possible? Well, many clients come in for just a few sessions to get perspective or have a question answered. Whatever the reason, we are happy to be of service to Orange County and beyond.