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Lecturing a client instead of fostering his or her own
development of cognitive shifts while tapping can be
disempowering as well as ineffective. Clients shift
when they are in the driver's seat in terms of the
choices that they make. Tapping is a powerful way to
unblock any meridian which hence opens up the client
to a new way of thinking. Let the tapping do the work.
Once a client is open, it is important to respect that
they get to choose the perspective that they want to
stand in. Different ways of looking at an issue is
explored, and the perspective that is chosen is one
that feels right to the client.
As an EFT practitioner, it is important to help clients
make new cognitive shifts by supporting them as they
wander down the path of sorting out what a specific
event or life theme means to them. A technique that
can be used to invite the clients to be in the driver's
seat is to ask, "What is coming up for you now?"
or "What are your thoughts about this now?" at the end
of a round of tapping. When they give a response that
indicates a shift in their thinking, they can then be
asked, "Is this way of thinking different for you?" which
allows them to recognize that there, in fact, has been a
cognitive shift. The recognition can help them more
deeply anchor it.
Another technique to empower the client is that intuitive hits (insights that the practitioner has in the observer role which can also be new perspectives) may be offered throughout the tapping session. The client decides if those hits are true or not with regard to how they perceive an experience. One of the questions that can be asked after a hit is: "Is that true for you?" If the response is a negative one, then they can be asked: "What is true for you?" This may spark the client to remember and challenge a belief that may not be in their best interest. At times, the client's physical rather than verbal
responses indicate whether they are resonating with
the intuitive hits that are being offered. Noticing the
physical shift (sigh or facial expression) can be
followed with a question like: "What just happened for
you?" The response may be a new cognitive shift or
insight which then may point in a new direction that
needs to be explored. It becomes a dance between
practitioner and client as new versions of their dream
are explored and then expanded upon with these new
insights. Again, the client gets to choose which
beliefs land or not; and which beliefs they will stand
in, or not. When a client has a physical response,
for example, a release at a specific tapping meridian,
it can be an indicator that a new experience has
emerged or the client has shifted aspects. For
example, one client had a fear of dentists. While
being tapped, there was a visual release on the gall
bladder meridian (SE), a heavy sigh, which indicated
that a shift may have occurred. She was asked; "If
there was something "rageful" about this fear, what
would it be?" The client then remembered a
traumatic incident when she was just four years old
and pinned in the dental chair by two hygienists and
bit the finger of the third hygienist trying to insert a tool
into her mouth. Her emotional response led to her
understanding her fear of dentists in a new way which
then freed her up to make a cognitive shift. In
actuality, her fear of dentists was secondary to the
rage that she experienced while at the dentist's
office. After this cognitive shift, she reported that two
weeks later when she visited the dentist, she was so
relaxed that she fell asleep in the chair. The
practitioner's responsibility is to read the physical
cues and check into their meaning.
Another way to foster cognitive shifts is to play
back the responses of clients during the detective
work of uncovering limiting beliefs. It is not necessary
that the play back is verbatim. It can be an expanded
view that invites the client to either embrace or reject a
new way of thinking. Again, checking in with the client
either verbally by asking, "Is this true?" or nonverbally
by paying attention to the physical cues, is
paramount.
Asking powerful questions that require a client to make cognitive shifts in order to answer them is important. It is their answers that lead to tapping out their limiting beliefs. For instance, many clients can easily identify what they don't want. An important question is: "What do you want?" "What gets in the way of you having it?" Another is: "If you looked at this in another way, what would it be?" This provides fuel for cognitive shifts which are client-driven. Good detective work is essential in helping clients foster cognitive shifts. Powerful questions will support clients in making those shifts. |
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Everyday, counsellors hear accounts of their client's
traumatic events. Each day, we listen and bear
witness to some truly horrific stories that bring some
of us to the realization that humans are capable of
knowingly inflicting pain and terror to another human
being. We sit and listen and do our best not to react to
what we might have just heard. Our focus, as always,
is to help our clients. But what about us? How
capable are we as counselors to help when we
ourselves have been traumatized simply by listening?
Vicarious trauma by definition is 'experienced or realized through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another' (Webster's, 2007). I remember hearing about vicarious trauma during the course of my studies but never gave it much thought until last year. I noticed that I began to feel agitated at work, almost resentful towards my colleagues and clients. However, my eating and sleeping habits remained the same so I just discounted my feelings to being 'stressed out'. I even went as far as to admit that I may have been feeling a bit 'burned out'. My job, after all, is to maintain a professional detachment from my client's experiences. I am there to listen and to be empathetic, not to share in their trauma. It wasn't until I began to feel haunted by what I had been told during a counselling session that I allowed myself to consider the fact that I was, in fact, experiencing vicarious trauma. It was a very difficult admission. I am, like all of you, a great counsellor. However, first and foremost, I am human. So, I began to do some tapping on general statements:
Then I began to get more specific:
"I'm a strong and capable counsellor". It was only when I allowed myself to admit that I was, in fact, experiencing vicarious trauma that I was able to use EFT to work past it and heal. Our jobs, although rewarding, are not easy. In my opinion, there is never any shame in feeling our feelings. After all, we are first and foremost, human and allowed to be wonderfully flawed. Vivian Cannataro, EFT-ADV Lodestone Counselling Services, info@lodestonecounselling.com |
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I'm honoured to introduce two of the brightest,
friendliest, resourceful people I know. Without them,
my life would not be as full and happy as it is. I
affectionally introduce them as "My gifts from God."
On the left is Vivian Cannataro, EFT-Adv., who joined the organization this year. She serves as my Training Coordinator as well as an amazing EFT Practitioner. Vivian will also be facilitating Level 1 workshops starting sometime this fall. On the right is the absolutely amazing Linda Hood. Linda is the backbone of the organization. Linda has been my administrative assistant since 1998. Whenever I need to know anything, I ask Linda. We have been through "thick and thin" together and I couldn't ask for a better work partner. Any of you who have had the opportunity to talk to either Linda or Vivian will understand why I feel like the luckiest man in the world! |
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Please forward this newsletter on to your
friends and
loved ones.
Sincerely,
David Rourke
David Rourke & Associates
email:
david@davidrourke.ca
phone:
1-888-834-7073
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