I've never really liked the game of golf though I've tried it several times. Of course that could be because I'm not very good at it. I love being outdoors and the beauty of the courses I have played but I find myself becoming bored with the game after about the fourth hole... and fourth attempt to retrieve my ball from some ridiculous place. I tend to like the camaraderie of team sports or the peacefulness of free-flowing experiences of hiking, cycling, or kayaking on my own or with a good friend.
But even though golf is - for the most part - a personal game, I learned a great lesson last year about connection from it. I had bemoaned to someone that I was feeling really disconnected from my son. He asked me what he liked to do. I told him he loved to play golf. He said, "Then play golf with him
." But, I hate golf. "Yeah... but he's not trying to connect with you. You're trying to connect with him
Can you say: "2 x 2 upside the head"?Connection is an essential part of success in our lives because it's the underpinning of great communication.
Deep connection is what most of us crave in our significant relationships. Solid connection is what patients appreciate about great dental and healthcare practices. It's what creates loyalty and referrals from customers and clients. True connection with your team is one huge component in lowering expensive and disruptive employee turnover.
But it's not you that determines if you've really connected: it's them
. If they don't genuinely feel it, then you didn't. And it's not about always doing what you want to do, talking about what you want to talk about. It's about meeting them where they are, with what matters to them.
I was being selfish and not looking at how I could meet my son where he was, where his interests and passions were. I wanted to connect but wanted him to span the distance to me. I had it all backwards
I still played a lousy game though thankfully we only played 9 holes. But we connected and for that I will forever love the game of golf.