A weekly kick-off e-message from Katherine Eitel
to breathe life back into your practice, your team, and you!
July 26, 2010
If we create our own reality, then the stories we tell are shaping our present and our future
. Over and over, I hear people (and myself!
) continually tell and retell stories of events and circumstances that they do not like ... Which keeps these stories alive, growing deeper and deeper roots into our consciousness and our experience.
Following are a few recent examples:
- An office administrator's husband had a serious accident in which he was disabled. When I asked her how he and she were doing, she said, "He's struggling with feeling depressed. This has really crushed his spirit and I'm struggling with seeing my husband like this. We're both so sad."
- A client, when asked what her vision was in terms of the amount of time she worked, replied, "Well, I'd like to work three days a week and have three two-week vacations every year but that would require an associate and I know that will take at least 5 years to come to fruition... if not more."
- A school teacher friend, when asked if they were excited about starting a new school year in August with a fresh group of kids replied, "Not really. I had a terrific class last year and I know I won't be able to replicate that. I've seen this class coming up and they just aren't the same. This is going to be a much tougher year."
- I heard myself last week tell a friend, "I'm good with faces but terrible with names. I always have been, all my life."
We decide what is true and create a story about it.
Worse yet, we continually repeat that story to ourselves and others... and it grows and solidifies in our psyche, making it an unshakeable truth to us
. I'm not suggesting that these things were not once true or even still possible. I'm definitely not suggesting we should not feel what we authentically feel. I am suggesting that, assuming we'd actually like to feel differently or really would prefer to
experience a different reality or outcome... we must create the space for other possibilities in the stories we tell and retell
. At least leave yourself an out, an opening, a remote alternative and see what happens... to you and to the response you receive from others.
For example, let's see if we can re-tell the stories from above:
- "My husband is struggling with the accident and some feelings of depression. I'm working on ways to help him with that. It's early yet... only a few weeks since the accident. I'm hopeful that with time, he will deal with his grief and I have confidence that he will ultimately turn this challenge into something positive. He's an amazingly strong man and I know we'll grow from this experience."
- "I'd like to work 3 days a week and take more vacations. I don't see exactly how to make that happen yet but I know others have that kind of schedule and I'm investigating how they are making it happen sooner than later."
- "I'm feeling like this year's group of kids may be more challenging than the group I had last year. If I'm right, I'm sure this will challenge me as a teacher and I'm looking forward to what I'll discover about myself in the process of meeting that challenge. These are the kids that have the greatest room for growth so finding ways to breakthrough with them, having them access more of their potential and find success will be really gratifying."
- "I've always been great at remembering faces and I'm working on ways to remember names just as well."
This week listen for the stories you're creating, re-creating, and re-telling over and over. Give yourself some room for another outcome, a different possibility, and a better ending.
Call Katherine Eitel
~ healthcare industry expert with a proven track record ~
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Let us create an uplifting, educational presentation
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"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.
No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.
The gift of life is ours; it is an amazing journey;
and you alone are responsible for the quality of it."
~ Dan Zadra
I hear the stories I tell and am careful to craft the re-telling of them to allow room for multiple possibilities.