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MacNair's Country Acres
presents:
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Help for Horse Show Parents
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Dear Parent of a Show Rider,
If your child has developed a passion for showing horses, you are now by default a "horse-show mom" or "horse-show dad." As you have no doubt discovered, there are books on every horse-y topic you can imagine but there are no guidebooks to help you be a horse-show parent even though it is a critical (although usually unappreciated) job.
Showing can teach a rider much, and many of the lessons learned have nothing to do with horses. Leaving aside the fun factor, showing necessitates organization, concentration, goal-setting, sportsmanship, and the value of remaining calm, not to mention vividly demonstrating that hard work and preparation can pay off.
There are specific things you can do to point your rider in the right direction and make the experience of showing even more valuable.
Sincerely, The Staff at MacNair's Country Acres
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On second thought, make two.
One list will be what your rider needs and the
other is what you should remember for the horse. Your horse list will, of course, get longer for "away" shows. Include even the smallest
items, bobby-pins for instance. (Your horse told us to remind you to put carrots
at the top of his list.) Put the lists on your computer and run off a copy a
few days before the show. Locate items and cross them off as you pack. Don't
forget sunscreen, water and light, nutritious snacks. A little sewing kit, the
kind motels give you, can be very useful to have in your horse-show bag. A face
wipe or a cool damp washcloth is a help when the day is warm. Riding is a
physically demanding sport and overheating in hot weather is a real concern.
Remember that water is essential. When it's hot, everyone has to work at
staying hydrated. When you get home try to remember what you were missing or
what you wished you had - add it to your list and you will be set for the next
show. Did we mention water?
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Let her trainer train her.
This may be a good time to remind you not to step between
your rider and her trainer. Riding is a fabulously complex sport and your
rider should be focused on her horse and what her trainer is telling her to do
with said horse. Another voice only distracts her. Before her ride,
dust off her boots, wish her good luck and then stand off to the side where she
can see you are nearby if she needs to summon you. By the way,
carrying a towel (for boot-dusting and horse-spit removal) will make you look
like a seasoned horse-show parent. And while your rider is in the ring for her
flat class, wear her horse's martingale with pride.
After her ride, give her time to do the post-ride analysis with
her trainer. Offer her water or a towel to wipe her face
but let them finish before you say anything. This is an insider's meeting, just
between the two of them. You can stand to the side and listen, but that's it.
Once she comes to you, be careful answering questions such as "How do you
think I did?" At this point she probably wants support rather than
feedback. Mention the things she did well. If there were problems, let her be
the one to bring them up (or not.) You can acknowledge them ("That was a
tough moment...") but go back to the positive things ("Well, yes,
but....") If you have no idea what you just saw, take your cues from what
you heard her trainer telling her.
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Have everything ready the night before.
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Avoid panic.
The night before the show, remind your rider to have everything ready to go: clothes laid out; snacks and water packed, in the fridge (an insulated lunch bag or small cooler is perfect); raincoat, chairs, etc. already in the car. Look over your lists one more time. Your rider will probably be nervous enough without panic over missing gloves.
If you can get her to eat in the morning that's great - she will need energy later - but heavy foods may not sit well on a nervous stomach or right before she rides.
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What time is my class?
It is notoriously difficult to predict when your rider will
actually step into the ring to show. Asking your trainer "What time
is my class?" will only frustrate both of you, as there is rarely
a definitive answer. But you may be able to get an approximate answer using the
following clues. Get a list of classes at the secretary's stand and ask how
many riders are in each of the classes before yours. You can figure that
jumping rounds are about two minutes in duration, from the time the rider
enters the ring till she exits. Flat, or under-saddle, classes can take from
ten to fifteen minutes depending on how many horses are in the ring to be
judged. You can add up these minutes, throw in a few more for unanticipated events
(not that those would ever happen in real life) and come up with a reasonable
estimate. That being said, listen to the announcers who will tell you via
loudspeaker what is currently happening in the ring so you can adjust
accordingly. The announcers/in-gate people can tell you how many horses
are left to show in a certain class, in case you've lost track, or whether or
not any horses have scratched or if any divisions have been canceled. Using this
information, you can deduce, Sherlock Holmes-like, when,
approximately, your rider will show. (Keep in mind, however, there are also 147
other variables to be taken into account: will the ring get watered and scraped
before you go? does the class before you jog for ribbons? is there a lunch/schooling
break?)
Generally speaking, it is never too early to have your
horse spotlessly groomed, with tack, number, etc. at the ready. But horses are
happier lounging in their stalls than standing tacked up in the sun and, you,
of course, want your horse to be happy. Have your rider get herself completely
ready before putting tack on her horse. Try to be ready about half an hour
before you think your rider will be stepping into the ring but leave more time
to prepare if you think she will need it. Make sure to give her time to find
her trainer and start to warm up.
If your rider doesn't thank you for your support and encouragement, we are sure that's just an oversight and we are taking this opportunity on her behalf to say: Thank you!
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Help handle stage fright.
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Try to read her feelings.
 Different people, of course, handle performance nerves in different ways. Your rider may withdraw to gather her
thoughts before a ride or she may be loose and relaxed. Try to respect
how she feels and react accordingly. (For instance, this is not the
time to remind her that she was supposed to clean her room yesterday.) Her
trainer, having watched pre-ride dynamics unfold many times, may have some good
advice on this subject and would be happy to talk to you about what your rider
may require. Your presence should have a positive
effect on your child.
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Show vs. Lesson
 Remember that the pre-show warm-up will be
different than a lesson. Getting ready to show will mostly be physical,
the
equivalent of a gymnast stretching before her routine. Her trainer will
point
out a few things, remind her of a few things, and then they will go to
the
ring. A show is definitely not the time to learn a new skill or address a
new
problem - that's what lessons are for. Lessons are preparation for a
test, and the
test is "showing." At this point, it's way too late to cram for the exam.
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After the show is over...
If the show was a disaster, trust us, you are better off doing
nothing. Being logical, practical or positive will have no effect. Sympathy
will most likely provoke impatience and/or frustration, and criticizing will
make her angry. Just be available to listen. A simple hug will tell your rider
how you feel.
If, on the other hand, the show was a success, let her
tell you about it in excruciating detail (probably over and over) and keep
smiling. Tell her how wonderful she was and resist adding, "But it could
have been even better if you had just..." Tell her again how great she was. And most of all - enjoy the moment.
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MacNair's Country Acres
2721 Dover Farm Road
Raleigh NC 27602
919-851-1118
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