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A Thought On Parshas Chaye Sara "...va'yetze Yitzchak la'suach ba'sadeh lifnos arev..." "...and Yitzchak went out to the field to talk, as evening approached..." (24:63) The image of a solitary patriarch alone in the field at sunset is striking. Even before we begin pondering that scene, the Talmud hastens to illustrate how this interesting word, sicha, means more than talking or speaking. It refers to the meditative form of spoken prayer. Our patriarch Yitzchak was out in the field near sunset immersed in the language of prayer. The Rambam (Hilchos Melachim 9:1) writes that this image, while certainly picturesque, is also illustrative. The Biblical accounts of the lives of our forefathers, although taking place prior to the Giving of the Torah, are nonetheless instructional. Their deeds presage the formal commandments which are the eternal mitzvos. Yitzchak modeled the form and timing of our obligation to pray an afternoon tefilla known as mincha. Our singular source for conduct, both ritual and interpersonal, is the Torah. This passage was given at matan Torah. It is not just a historical anecdote. It captures through its vivid illustration two formal instructions: we engage in prayer beyond that of our morning tefillas shacharis, and we offer this prayer in the latter part of the daytime. In the chronology of spiritual events, it was Yitzchak who added this particular prayer to the life routine which has become the Torah way of life. * * * * * The Rosh puzzles over some other Talmudic sources. There are references to an afternoon prayer credited to our patriarch Avraham. After all, our sages have taught that Avraham Avinu anticipated and observed life principles and rules which would ultimately be found in the Written and the Oral Torah. It would follow that he prayed in the afternoon. Our verse, and our sage's elucidation, attributes mincha to Yitzchak! How can the Talmud also refer to this as "tzilusae d'Avraham" - the supplication of Avraham? The Rosh suggests that prayers were certainly offered up by our first forefather. Yet, praying is more than a set formula. Prayer is subjective. It is an offering in the sense that one immerses his or herself in the words and allows the mouth to utter the longings of the heart and the stirrings of the soul. Avraham knew this and did this. He may not, however, have instituted this as form of obligation. It was only upon his son Yitzchak's embracing the practice that Avraham instructed his family and their descendants to affix tefillas mincha into their life routine. A person can be inspired to do something good and holy, and it may be very personal. When others are in turn inspired in like fashion, that practice may become widely adopted. It is important to preserve that practice but it is also important to preserve the soul-stirring heart-felt personal quality of that sacred act. In our embracing the prayer practices set by each of the three avos, we must strive to maintain a touch of that subjectivity. Each of us must go out alone into that field of solitude and offer our prayer. Alone among others. Good Shabbos. D Fox |
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Reader's Question: What is the source and the reason for people dipping their fingers into the wine after Havdalah and rubbing it on their eyes? Answer: The source for putting on the eyes is from Pirkei D'Rav Eliezer (Perek 20) and brought in Shulchan Aruch Siman 296:1 "to wash ones face with the leftover wine to show how much we love Mitzvos". The purpose is for a segulah for health and Hatzlacha and Parnasah. It is also brought in Seforim to put some inthe pockets and also to wipe some across the forehead. See also Talmud beginning of Sukkah 38a where the concept of using "leftovers" of a Mitzvah is brought as a segulah to prevent calamities. See also the commentary of the Mordechai (a Rishon) beginning of tractate Yoma. Reader's Question: Why is it prohibited for a Choson and Kallah to see each other a week before their wedding? Answer: There is no clear source in Halacha for this minhag, yet it has become an accepted practice by a large segment of Klal Yisroel. The Sephardic Jews do not have this minhag. One of the reasons given in the Seforim is based on the Halacha (Yoreh Deah Siman 192) that we are worried that if the Kallah sees her chassan she will desire him and it will lead to her discharging "Dam Chimud" and thus she won't be clean by the wedding. Some Poskim, however, based on the Talmud Niddah 20b say that just the opposite is true! That "Dam Chimud" will happen from not seeing him and yearning to see him. Another reason cited is simply to limit the time spent between the bride and groom as to ensure they will excitedly look forward to being together on their wedding night. Moreover, too much contact too close to the wedding can sometimes lead to unnecessary hardships (See Shu"t Teshuvos V'Hanhagos Even HaEzer Vol. 3 Siman 390) and unfortunately even to improper relations between the bride and groom (especially since the bride is Tahor within that week) In certain communities it isn't customary to have this separation a week before, and they definitely have on whom to rely. (See Sdei Chemed Chasan V'Kallah 22. I have heard in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein Zatzal that he was not makpid on this either, but I cannot verify that 100% at this time) Bottom line is, it is definitely not an Issur to see each other, but a minhag which should be followed if it is the minhag of your family. Reader's Question: I recently heard from someone that it is prohibited for a man to sit behind a woman! Is that true? Were does it say? For instance in a car where a couple goes in front and men are in the back. Answer: Chazal (Talmud Brachos 61a) say that a man should not walk behind a woman, and should quicker walk behind a lion! This halacha is brought in Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer Siman 21) The reason for this was that a man walking behind a woman will come to gaze at her and lead him to improper thoughs and Chas V'Shalom to improper actions. There is a debate amongst contemporary Poskim if this applies today when it is much more prevalant for women to be in public, and only in the times of Chazal when it was rare to see a woman in public would it perhaps lead to sin. The Leket Yosher, disciple of the Terumas HaDeshen (Siman 376) rules that this prohibition is not in force today. Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach Zatzal (Shu"t Minchas Shlomo Vol. 1 Siman 91:23) rules that today's days when women are found everywhere, it is virtually impossible not to be walking behind one woman or another and it doesn't lead to any bad things and thus it doesnt apply today as stringently as it did in the times of Chazal. Other Poskim (Shu"t Mishne Halachos Vol.5 Siman 226 and 227 and Vol.12 Siman 305, the Sha'ar HaTzion quoting the Radvaz as well as other Poskim) maintain that the halacha is in full force today. Obviously, all agree that if one knows themselves and their being behind a woman will lead to bad things, the halacha applies to him 100% even today. Also, all seem to agree that if one is on a bus, for example, and has the choice to either sit directly behind a woman or in a different seat, that he must choose the different seat. As even if we rule to be lenient today, that is only in cases of necessity and when it is impossible or impractical to be stringent. Thus, in a car, it is best to try and arrange the seating in such a way that no man is sitting directly behind a woman, but if this is impossible, we have on whom to rely, as long as nobody knows themselves that they will Chas V'Shalom come to sinful thoughts or actions by not following this Halacha. reprinted with permission from Halachafortoday.comFor help in shidduchim click here. |
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