In 1984, psychotherapist John Welwood coined the term "spiritual bypassing."  He noticed a common pattern in his clients who were spiritual seekers.  They were often unconsciously using spiritual knowledge and practices to avoid painful feelings and to escape many of the difficulties of everyday life.  One of the reasons that I became interested in this concept was that I identified this pattern in myself.

I had a spiritual opening in the mid 70's and, for many years following that, I became a committed "seeker."  I had a guru for awhile and, after that, spent hours a day meditating, reading spiritual literature, and exploring different traditions and teachers.  I was hungry for enlightenment, and my concept of enlightenment meant a full and complete identification with my transcendent nature.  I believed that I needed to rise above the limitations of this earthly existence. None of the messiness of the human condition was for me!  I also believed that in order to be truly spiritual I had to always be pure, good, nice, kind, compassionate, and more - basically a being of light and love.  Of course, I wasn't - and that led to a lot of shame and self-judgment.  I have since come to see that many of my spiritual inclinations at that time were misguided.
 

The problem with this mindset, as I have come to see it, is that it only focuses on one dimension of existence - the transcendent.  That focus both explicitly and implicitly devalues our humanness.  Constantly reaching toward the light, sometimes known as the "flight to light" can be an unconscious strategy to keep us disconnected from the often great challenges of being human.  Feelings and painful realities become something to be avoided. 

I no longer believe that there is a split between spirit and matter, which includes our bodies, the earth, and all of material existence.  We are both finite and infinite.  Our immanent nature is just as valuable, and needs just as much of our attention as our transcendent nature.  God, or the Divine, truly is All.  This means that we don't have to turn away from shadow material, from our woundedness, from the broken parts of ourselves.  We don't have to run from the difficulties that we encounter in relationships or in our work lives.  We don't have to be afraid of the darker sides of life.  Light/dark, personal/transpersonal, spirit/matter - we are all of it.

Living this way is certainly not always comfortable. Life no longer becomes something that we can easily separate into black and white, nor can we expect to always find quick and easy solutions to complex matters, such as those that we encounter in relationships.  It is not always easy to negotiate the unpredictability of the embodied aspects of our existence.  But there is also so much joy and relaxation that becomes available to us when we embrace all of life.  We are no longer fighting with life, no longer attempting to iron out every wrinkle, no longer grasping for awakening as something out there. We can actually come to deeply rest, right here, right now, with whatever is before us, knowing it is all Divine.