The Dog Dictionary

Bath:
This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently and repeatedly trying to jump out of the tub.

Bicycles:
Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented specifically for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the human then swerves, and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

Bump:
Executed properly this is the best way to get your human's attention when they are enjoying a beverage.

Deafness:
This is a malady which affects dogs when their human wants them in and they want to stay out or vice versa. Symptoms include staring blankly at the human, then running in the opposite direction, sitting or lying down. Don't worry, they won't take you to the vet for this one.

Dog Bed:
Any soft, clean surface that a human (this is key) would sit on, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

Drool:
Is what you do when your human has food and you don't. To do this properly, you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps. If they fail to notice, paw your human prior to wasting more perfectly good drool.