All Souls' Episcopal Church - OKC 

Virginia Campbell Concert Series

Jin Ju

Sunday, November 20th

3:30 p.m.

Concert in our church with a reception following in the Parish Hall

Jin Ju has played for the Pope.

Messiah Presentation

Jeanette Clemons Activity Center

First Christian Church of Midwest City

East Reno and Anderson Road

 Sunday, November 20         4 p.m.

Andrea Hanson, Soprano

Rebekah Ambrosini, Contralto

John Peebles, Tenor

Jim Henline, Bass

Full Professional Orchestra

John Blackwell, Conductor

Participating Chorristers from

First Christian Church of Midwest City

Hillcrest Christian Church

Midwest Boulevard Christian Church

Midwest Choral Society

Oklahoma Choral Artists

St. Christopher's Episcopal Church

Wickline Methodist Church

All proceeds from the free will offering for the benefit of the Mid-Del Food Pantry.

If you feel stressed or overwhelmed, it is important to speak with the adults in your life. They may not realize how much pressure you are feeling if you manage to "get everything done." Talk to a parent, teacher or counselor, and ask for help in dealing with stress using the suggestions below.
 

Decide what is most important and what needs to be done first. You do not need to do everything in one night. Prioritize what needs to be done early in the week, and what can be done later. If you are focusing on a few projects a night rather than worrying about all of them every night you will do a better job on each assignment.
 

Being well-rounded is important. However, you do not need to be the captain of the football team, the lead in the school lay and employee of the month. Choose one or two activities that you can enjoy while also getting your school work done and having time to relax or visit with friends. 

Set goals that you can see yourself achieving within a week, two weeks or maybe a month. Setting goals that are too high can make you feel more stressed if you cannot realistically achieve them.
 

It is normal to feel overwhelmed when things get busy, assignments are due and the coach scheduled extra practice. If you are feeling especially stressed or depressed, you may want to look at everything you are involved in and see if there are one or two things you can cut out until you feel better.
 

Eat a balanced and healthy diet, exercise regularly and get enough sleep. Do not sacrifice your health because you feel you are too busy to take care of yourself. A combination of a healthy diet, regular exercise and plenty of sleep helps relieve stress. 
 

Set aside a half an hour a day to do something that just makes you feel good. Read a book or a favorite magazine, take a walk or ride your bike. This time that you take for yourself will help you focus when you sit down to finish your homework or practice lines for the school play. Try new ways to deal with stress such as Yoga, Tai Chi and meditation.

Go to Church

To feel connected. To have a sense of belonging

To feel competent To be able to share

To be useful To be respected

To be successful To be appreciated

To be loved and to love To have a sense of control

To have a sense of hope 

Since persons with dementia increasingly have no past or no future (a spiritual gift?) they need to be addressed in the present. Being in the present is specifically what many persons have difficulty with in ministry. When the ordinary person visits a friend in the hospital, what is often the topic of conversation? The past and the future. "Did the doctor come in yet today?" "What have the doctors said about your condition?" "What did you have for breakfast?" "How long do you think you are going to be in here?" Some persons with dementia cannot remember what happened five minutes ago, much less what they had for breakfast or when their doctor last visited. They might not even understand where they are or why they are there. In fact, this 'new place' might become the topic of conversation, even complaint. "I don't want to be here." "Will you take me home?"

What does the caregiver/visitor say or do in this situation? Keep in the moment. Keep in the present. One day, at a long-term care community, I engaged a resident who was looking for his wife. I knew that he had been widowed for at least a couple of years, but that information was in the past. It was not present. So after some conversation about his wife (tell me about her, etc) I volunteered to take the person on a walk to search for his wife. I knew that all I needed to do was to change the environment and/or the subject of conversation, and the person would 'forget' that he had been looking for his wife. We went outside (safe to do so in this retirement community) and in the process began talking about the weather and the flowers. After a few moments, I invited the resident to rest and enjoy the beauty around him. He thought that was a good idea, sat down and enjoyed the view, totally forgetting about his search, because now the search itself was a part of the past. A few moments later, this resident might have gone on a new search for his wife, but it would have been a new search, not a continuation of the old one.

Try bringing items on your visit that you can talk about. Photos are good. Perhaps a pet (if it is allowed and welcomed in the community). Remember that a person with dementia may not be able to process things cognitively like others can, but they can still see, feel, smell and touch. Use these immediate sensory abilities to guide your conversation. What is around the room? Is your chair hard or soft? I like the color of your blouse. What colors do you like? How do they make you feel?

Touch can be very effective in ministry with a person with dementia. Never touch a person with dementia from behind in that it might startle them enough to take a swing at you. Always approach a person with dementia from the front, where they can easily see you. Ease in gently rather than quickly. If it feels appropriate, reach out to touch a hand or a shoulder but be ready to stop immediately if the person pulls away. Once a person with dementia feels comfortable with your presence, a light touch of the hand might be welcomed and assist the resident to focus on you and your conversation.

Use the senses as your ally as you speak with a person who has dementia. A 'surprise box' can be as simple as a shoe box with a hole at one end. Place an item, any item, into the box and see what the reactions are when the resident reaches in the hole and touches the item. Possible items: a spoon from the kitchen, tissue from the bathroom, a pine cone from a vacation, cotton from the nursing station, even a piece of carpet from the resident room that has been refurbished. Then engage in dialogue. "What does it feel like?" "Do you like it?" "What does it cause you to think of?" "What is it? (although some residents might not be able to remember the names of items)"

What about getting some water-based paint (like the powdered stuff that water needs to be added) and finger paint the sun, or the experience of being hot, or the warmth of a kitten. Again, anything in the moment is good.

And don't forget about religious expression. For those whom you know it is appropriate, what about hymn sings (one verse only from memory), or lead in a simple devotion (Psalm 23 is a favorite, but don't be surprised if a number of residents 'chime in' on the reading), or use the Lord's Prayer (again, even persons with advanced dementia often remembers this ritual. Touching persons with their past while not requiring them to remember the past is an important principle to remember.

Printed by permission of California

Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging

christianformation@epiok.org

(405) 232-4820