June 2012 Soul Connections

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Message from Gary: Six Things You Can Learn From Guilt
Journey to the Soul Retreat
Awakening to Spiritual Partnership Discount
Note from Linda - A Woman's Perspective on Pleasing and Ingrity
Awakening to Spiritual Partnership

Dear Spiritual Partner,


Have you considered the importance of your emotions? If not, take a look at them today. Ignoring your emotions is like ignoring special delivery couriers with vital information about yourself that you have been looking for. Even if you haven't been looking for it, knowing what your emotions can tell you can save you enormous amounts of pain. And the information is free. No coupons needed, no website to go to, no ad to answer. The only thing you need to receive this information is your body, and it will never fail to receive it accurately.


Emotions that originate in fear (such as anger, jealousy, vengefulness, impatience) are painful to experience. They are not only painful emotions, they are painful physical sensations. Emotions that originate in love (such as gratitude, contentment, appreciation, and patience) are pleasing, or blissful, to experience. They are not only pleasing emotions, they are wonderful-feeling physical sensations. Distinguishing between love and fear in yourself is as simple as taking the time to feel whether your body hurts (think heart ache in our chest, fear in your stomach, etc.) or feels good (think gratitude in your heart area, relaxation in your throat, etc.) before you act and speak. It is that simple, but in order to learn how to keep up to date with this information (it arrives moment by moment), we suggest you read The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness, which we co-authored. We also suggest you enroll in the Awakening to Spiritual Partnership online course (see below). The second lesson is entirely about emotional awareness, and we speak about it in detail in the videos.


A life of meaning, joy, and purpose requires awareness of your emotions and using the information they provide you wisely. The Seat of the Soul Institute will always support you doing this and in creating authentic power and spiritual partnerships.






SIX THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM GUILT Many people think that guilt is a natural experience. It is a familiar experience, but it is not healthy or productive. It serves no constructive purpose. How can that be?  Here are six things to think about the next time you are feeling guilty:

  1. Guilt comes from fear. Your spiritual growth requires challenging fear and cultivating love. Holding onto your thoughts and feeling of guilt will not support you or anyone else. They prevent you from living in love, creating in love, and enjoying yourself in love.
  2. Guilt impairs your ability to learn from your experiences. When you see something that you could have done differently, or wish you had done differently, remember how you could have spoken or acted in love instead of fear so that you can apply what you have learned next time (not to make yourself feel more guilty). Your experiences are designed to inform, support, and benefit you, not cause you to contract into fear and remorse.
  3. Guilt is an experience of a frightened part of your personality, just as the actions that you regret came from a frightened part of your personality. Following fear with fear moves you in the opposite direction that your spiritual development requires, which is toward love.
  4. Guilt keeps you from being honest with others and yourself. You cannot cause emotional pain in another person. You can trigger emotional pain in someone else, but the pain that is triggered comes from inside them (not from you). It is an opportunity for them to learn about themselves. Your actions are your responsibility. If they come from fear rather than love, they will create painful consequences for you.
  5. The relationship between guilt and forgiveness may surprise you. Guilt is actually a twisted or manipulative way of seeking forgiveness. It is the belief that if you inflict suffering on yourself for your choices, another will forgive you for them. This is the perspective of the frightened part of your personality that feels guilty.
  6. You cannot give the gifts that your soul wants you to give while you are feeling guilty. Your gift may be to raise a family, create a new kind of business, write books, dance, or any of countless things. Whatever it is, it will fulfill you as you give it and lead you to your next gifts. It will bring you joy. You cannot give any of your gifts while you are caught in fear - for example, anger, jealousy, despair, superiority, inferiority, and guilt.      
  I would like to read your comments.  Will you write them on the SoulBlog?  



July 15-19, at Mount Hood, near Portland, OR USA  
Journey to the Soul 2012

Would you like to practice using your emotions to grow spiritually and save yourself a lot of pain?  There is no better way to learn how and practice this than the Journey to the Soul once-a-year retreat with Gary and Linda.  Create authentic power and spiritual partnerships with people from around the world.  Enjoy the beauty of Mt. Hood, Oregon, USA.  Come by yourself, with your family, coworkers, or intimate other. 


Click here for information and to enroll. 


This retreat sells out early, so register now if you intend to come.

Awakening to Spiritual Partnership
If you can't come to the Journey to the Soul this year, do the next best thing: enroll today in the Awakening to Spiritual Partnership online course.

This media-rich course supports you with videos,  animations, meditations, interactive questions, a SoulLog and online Spiritual Partnership Community.

If you are coming to the Journey, this course is the best preparation for it that you can give yourself.

For more information about the course, click here. For a 25% discount, click the green sign up now button, type "soulconnections" in the coupon box, and then click recalculate.

This special offer is transferable, so share this offer with your family and friends by forwarding them this email.

This discount will not be available much longer. Take advantage of it now. 


Linda Francis
I used to think that I didn't want to say or do anything that would hurt someone's feelings. Have you ever thought that? I'd be surprised If you haven't.


As I began to explore this thought that I had and had said to others, I began to see that I was using it to avoid saying what I felt was important to people I was afraid to hurt. I also saw that it was creating a chasm between me and anyone I didn't want to hurt.


Then I discovered that even to think about what I really wanted to say if I felt it might hurt someone was painful. I worried about how they might react. I was frightened they might not speak to me again, or they might gossip about me, or change our relationship in ways I didn't want.


I realized the connection between these thoughts and the part of my personality that had been pleasing people all my life and rarely said or did what it really wanted. This seems obvious looking back, but it wasn't at the time. That part of me was proud that it could be like a chameleon, changing colors to please anyone so that everyone would like me, and no one would ever get hurt, offended, or upset.


Slowly I realized that this is not an admirable trait, but a part of my personality that was never in integrity.  As I considered the meaning of integrity and what this trait meant about me, I was shocked to see that this part of my personality had controlled me all of my life! It did everything it could to please people rather than say or do what was in integrity.


That was when an opportunity appeared, yet again, for me to please/not hurt anyone's feelings or act with integrity. I was so grateful for my insight that this part of my personality is not interested in integrity, but only in pleasing others in order to feel better, more comfortable, etc. I knew that this time I could choose differently, even though I felt a lot of painful physical sensations in my body. I also had the thought that it would be easier to please this person (who also was a pleaser!) rather than possibly hurt her. The thought said to me, "You don't have to be in your integrity this time. You can do that later."


I was so grateful for my insight and this wonderful and painful opportunity not to act from this part of my personality that had controlled me in similar circumstances all my life. I knew that in making the choice to be in my integrity, I had taken the first step in challenging it and its limited perspective that came from fear of not being loved, of being rejected and abandoned. This part of my personality has come up again many times since then, but because of my commitment to create only from loving parts of my personality, I continue to challenge it, and now its power to control me is much diminished because I have decided not to let it make my choices for me. I am so grateful.  



Until Next Time   


 "As long as you do not know what you are experiencing inside, you are asleep  

in your life, even though you may think that you are very much awake."

-- Gary Zukav and Linda Francis, The Heart of the Soul   


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Seat of the Soul Institute, PO Box 3310 Ashland OR 97520 USA