Good morning.  I was hoping you could offer your thoughts.

I did a game last night. It was a good game, both teams undefeated, with a solid level of play.  Team A scored in the 25' going up 1-0, Team B missed about 5 clear chances all game, and the result was 1-0 Team A.

My partner and I called the game early because after a tackle in the 77' in front of Team B's bench by a Team A midfielder, both teams started a confrontation.  No one left the bench, but 15-20 players were within a 10 yard radius and posturing.

The tackle warranted a yellow, but then I found myself in the middle of a melee with Team B players and Team A players all pushing and shoving.   No punches were thrown, but we decided that the game should not continue.  We spoke to the coaches, watched the handshake, and then left. 

As I was driving home, I continued to reflect on the game, and what I did to let the situation get to this point.  I issued a yellow to a Team B player early on for a flagrant tackle with his studs up, but other than that, no cautions were issued.  Both teams were playing hard, but Team B's captains were both constantly bitching at us for calls.  They literally complained on every other call, no matter how minute.  I could tell that they also were very frustrated with not finishing their chances.

I have 3 questions:

1)  In a game like this, would you recommend issuing a yellow card early to "set the tone?"  My fear in that is that I'd then have to issue yellow after yellow (or red) with every similar or harder foul.  Plus I remember hearing that a yellow should only be issued when the game warrants it.  If not, what other ways do you recommend keeping the players accountable but still letting them play good soccer with good effort?

2)  The Team B captains complained early and often.  I spoke to both and told them enough.  Is there a point where you caution a player like this for excessiveness?  Coincidentally, after the game was called, the Team B captain called me a pretty hard expletive so I cautioned him and spoke to his coach. 

3)  My partner said in our pre-game meeting that he doesn't like to caution too often, so I think that may have influenced me not issuing 1 or 2 other yellows to settle the game down during the 50-60 minute mark.  How do you handle that when partners have different styles (especially for me as a younger ref)?

My goal is to continue growing and learning as a referee, and I really appreciate games like this to help me learn.  I never felt overwhelmed, but I continue to wonder if there were steps I could have taken to prohibit the game from reaching a boiling point.

Any and all coaching is appreciated,

Thanks,