logos of various speaking associations
  
Fall 2010
The Two Dog Dilemma

A Native American elder once described his inner struggles as follows: Inside of me there are two dogs. One dog is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, "The one I feed the most."


What a great analogy for our lives. I could actually visualize the two dogs. The mean dog pictured in my mind would be big, with his face gnarled and his teeth bared. The good dog would be a Labrador, wagging his tail and trying to lick your face. The picture of the two fighting dogs brought to mind that sometimes it is hard for the Labrador to win. We have to spend a little longer concentrating on the positive moments to let them take hold. It is an easier path to let the mean dog takeover. I think from time to time we need to remind ourselves that we are letting the mean dog win.

Do you start each day worrying about something that had bothered you the day before? Or, do you restart your mind with a positive moment and a reflection on something good? If you start in the worry mode the chance that your positive self-talk (the Labrador) is going to win out will diminish...

But all is not lost! You have the control to change that talk. Yes, it takes some practice, but if you become aware of it you can make the change you want.

It's similar to changing our eating habits. If you were a junk food junkie and decided to reform your diet the first few weeks would be hard. As you are grocery shopping, the bag of Lay's seem to calling your name. A nutritionist would advise you not to go down those aisles. Start at the produce section and fill your cart there.

What you feed your mind is the same as what you feed your body. Next times the mean dog is winning STOP and find a positive way to reframe your thoughts.

Melinda Pearson


Mental Inventory

 
Have you ever sat through a meeting, just to hear the person conducting the meeting say, "Now, before we close, is everyone clear on what we're going to do?" What is the typical response? Dozens of hands all reaching for the ceiling
in an attempt to gain clarity or each participant's hand tucked under their butt? Why is that? Is it because everyone is clear on what's happening and they have no questions, or is it something else?


I'm convinced it's something else. It may not be that someone has a question
and feels uncomfortable about asking it, even though I'm convinced that's the case more often than we would like to consider. No, I think the reason people don't ask questions is because of their own
Mental Inventory.


What is Mental Inventory? Quite simply, it's our unique perception about
any given situation. These perceptions are based on experience, age, gender
and so on. Our inventory of perceptions enables us to reach some level of clarity, regardless the question asked. So when someone asks, "Do you have any questions?" your mental inventory kicks in. Based on your perception or idea
of the situation, you may feel comfortable and in fact, not have any questions.

In many situations, a person's mental inventory is absolutely; However, here's
the challenge: It is possible that an individual's
Mental Inventory is not appropriate for the situation and what they perceive may be wrong.


To illustrate Mental Inventory at work, try this simple demonstration during your next meeting:

Car Washing Demonstration:
The premise is to get people dreaming about your car. Begin by saying: "Let's
do some visualization. I really enjoy washing my car. Can you see me driving it
up the driveway? Taking the warm soapy water and spreading it over the hood, fenders and windshield then spraying the entire car with cold water and watching the soap run onto the driveway. Taking the polish, I meticulously cover every inch of the vehicle until it gleams in the sunshine. Now, step back and take in the entire vision of this clean, polished vehicle..."  PAUSE.


Now, ask a number of people in the room what kind of vehicle it is. I would suspect that you are going to get a wide variety of responses based on personal Mental Inventory.

So, what can we do to reduce the chances of Mental Inventory Blockage from causing problems? You need to gain clarity and you gain clarity from
asking a series of Thought Provoking Questions. Questions like:
"Charlie, so
that everyone is clear on every aspect of the operation, can you please explain  exactly the steps we're going to take during this operation?"
"Larry, can you please explain your specific challenges while doing this task?" "For my own
peace of mind, please tell me exactly what it is we're going to be doing?"


The idea of asking clarifying questions is to achieve congruence between a person's Mental Inventory and the reality of what's being asked. I would suspect things would be in sync most of the time, but why take the chance?


Until next time, Cheers!
Larry

In This Issue
The Two Dog Dilemma - Choose your frame of mind
Take Mental Inventory - Is your message being understood?
Recommended Reads






"The best
way to cheer
yourself up
is to cheer
everyone
else up."


 - Mark Twain








Recommended Read


multipliers book cover
 
Multipliers - How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter

by Liz Wiseman
& Greg McKeon


Harper Collins Publisher


elmo

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