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January 2010
jan 2010 header


Twenty - Ten, a new year, a new decade, a new commitment. So what is for you? Lose 10 pounds, learn a second language, start yoga, be a better leader, a better communicator... all wonderful and worthwhile endeavours. Unfortunately, for most people those wonderful intentions and ideas quickly fade and we find ourselves back in the same situation as we were before the New Year.

Change is simple; it's just not easy. We get overwhelmed with good intentions and then feel dejected or frustrated when the intentions don't pan out. St. Francis of Assisi said, "Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible. To support this strategy, Napoleon said; "The only conquests which are permanent and leave no regrets are the conquests over ourselves." Don't try to conquer the world before taking many small steps.

Let's start Twenty-Ten with a simple strategy that can give you some success in the first quarter. If you are diligent about improvement for the entire year, who knows what you could accomplish?

I call this simple getting things done strategy: One - One - Ninety. Start by making a commitment to one change or improvement in your personal life and one in your professional life. Write the two improvements on a sticky note and stick it on your computer, bathroom mirror, backdoor, wherever. Look at them and think about them everyday and ask yourself... "What's one simple action that I can take today to help me get closer to this objective?" Review your progress every week and stay focused on it for a minimum 90 days.

No one is perfect and you may fall off track the odd day. That's why you need to look at them and think about specific actions every day. Tracking and measuring progress is one key factor in success of any objective. One great example is the Weight Watchers organization. This company has helped millions of people globally not only lose weight, but keep the weight off. Their business model is simple but one of their success factors is quite profound. Research shows that when you track and measure your food intake every day and you work towards a goal, positive results follow.

The bottom line is that we all can't or won't be great leaders. But what's really exciting is that we can all be better leaders. It's within your control and it starts with small steps. Jules Jusserand a French Diplomat said; "Be well persuaded of this truth, the future in not in the hands of fate, but in ours."

If you would like to share some of your One-One-Ninety goals with us, we'd be thrilled to hear from you.

Until next month, Happy New Year
Larry


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TTI Corner
Attitudes/Values
Giving Up on Grudges

Can you believe it! I have a hard time thinking of 2010, to me it sounds futuristic but here we are! The start of a new decade would be a great time to rid yourself of any grudges you might be hanging on to. My research shows that many studies have equated anger and resentment to increased susceptibility to many illnesses that plague our society. So for your sake, begin to process these emotions as soon as you can and learn to forgive.  

In the wise words of my mother  "Most of the people that you are mad at don't even know that you are upset and they are having a perfectly good time without you." I have pondered that thought since the age of eight. My friends wouldn't let me be the lead horse in a game we were playing so I took my skipping rope, the reins and went home. I stomped in the house and started in on a tirade about my friends not being fair and that included my sister that was too bossy. My mom stopped me and said, "Just listen, what do you hear?". I could hear the kids laughing and having fun without me. She continued, "You have two choices, stay in with me and have no fun or let go of your anger and your ego and take a lesser role in the horse game." I decided to play and when I went back outside it was as if I had never left. The fact is, they never even missed me. I resumed my role at the back of the "horse pack" and waited my turn to be the leader. That day I learned a valuable lesson that has guided me throughout my life. Never waste energy on being angry as you could be missing out on a lot of living!

At a recent workshop one of the participants took me aside and asked me how to forgive. The act of holding grudges had plagued him his entire life. He said that he would hold grudges for long periods of time which affected his work and his personal life. I suggested that he learn to just let go.

Suggestions for "letting go":
  1. Understand that forgiveness does not condone, approve or forget the harmful act. We forgive the doer, not the doing.
  2. Realize that you are the only person responsible for your feelings.
  3. Look back at the incident and be honest with yourself. You may have played a role in escalating the situation to where it is today. Stop blaming the other person and start healing yourself.
  4. Decide to forgive. Even if you do this half-heartedly at first.
  5. Be courageous and begin thinking about the person in a new way. Start seeing them more positively.
  6. Give up the GRUDGE. "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

Melinda Pearson
logos of various speaking associations
In This Issue
A New Year, A New Decade, A New Commitment
Giving Up On Grudges
Are you holding a grudge?

"The difference between successful people and others is not a lack of strength or a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will." 

Vincent Lombardi, 1913 - 1970
Football Coach and Motivational Teacher




Norman Vincent Peale coined the word "grudgitis" in an article he wrote 60 years ago.

Do you suffer from Grudgitis?
Vote now!



Last Month's Poll:
"Do you say Merry Christmas?
"
89% say yes!


Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.

- David McArthur
& Bruce McArthur
 






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