Emey's Story
As I watch Emey walk across the stage to recieve her diploma, I can't help but realize that she is not your typical high school graduate. While it probably took most of her classmates a lot of late night study sessions and cramming for tests to hold that piece of paper in their hands, Emey had dirty diapers, 3am feedings, and doctor's appointments to deal with as well.
"He's a really good baby, but he still needs a lot of attention," she says to me as she quickly reaches out to pull her curious 8 month old back within arms reach.
Emey credits her supportive parents for helping her finish school while raising her baby, but I know it also took a lot of hard work on her part to get where she is today.
I ask her if there were any typical high school things that she had to give up to take care of her baby and get through school? Her eyes show a hint of disappointment as she talks about not going to prom or a homecoming game. She laughs a little and says, "I never got to wear a homecoming mum but I did get a baby mum at my baby shower." I have the feeling that it's not quite the same.
But what does Emey miss the most about her pre-baby high school days?
"Lunchtime!"
She must have noticed the confused look on my face because she quickly explains, "I transferred to an alternative school after I had my baby so I could get done faster and since my classes were only 4 hours a day we didn't have lunchtime. I miss getting to hang out with my friends and just be a teenager during lunchtime."
That is one reason Emey comes to Teen Parents of Lubbock. She tells me, "It helps fill that need for friends. I get to hang out with other girls who know what I'm going through and for a couple hours I can be a teenager again.
So what is a typcial day like for a teen mom trying to finish school?
"Before I could do whatever I wanted. I only had to worry about me." Emey says. Now her days are filled with scheduling everything around feeding time, changing diapers, naptimes, making sure she has a babysitter if she has to go anwhere, studying when the baby is sleeping and struggling with the guilt that every mom faces over wanting to spend all her time playing with her son but needing to be responsible and get things done.
"I had to learn time management really quickly." she laughs.
Not exactly a topic you hear from most teenagers.
What kept Emey motivated to finish school when it was so much harder now? Besides her supportive family and school, she says having a baby actually made her grow up faster and think about what was really important in life. She wanted to gradute to give her son a better life. But most of all she just wanted to be able to say "I finished!" And now she can.
I ask Emey what she would tell other girls who are thinking about becoming sexually active or who might think having a baby would be fun. She surprises me with quite a bit of wisdom for her young age.
"No one ever thinks it will happen to them. I didn't think it would happen to me, but it did. If you are having sex, you better be ready to have a baby. It's not like getting a puppy. You don't get to give it back. And things don't always work out how you think they will. It's not like if you have a baby you're gonna be this big happy family. The guy doesn't always stay around."
Statistics support what Emey is saying. Most of the time, the guy doesn't stick around. Unfortunately for many girls in Emey's situation, they don't realize it until it's too late.
"So when would be a good time for a couple to think about starting a family?" I ask her.
"Well, they should be in a really stable relationship and both of them need to have at least graduated high school. And they should both have jobs that pay a lot...like at least $8 an hour."
I hold back a smile at the memory of a time when $8 an hour was a lot of money to me too. I think I must have been about 17.
Emey has a long journey ahead of her. Being a parent lasts a lifetime and you don't get to quit the job when things get tough. But Emey is proving step by step that she is willing to work hard to overcome the statistics that say she won't make it. She's doing it for her son. She's doing it for herself. She's doing it for their future.
