How Did They Get Here?
Why are so many kids getting into sexual relationships at such a young age? Why do we have an insanely high teen pregnancy rate in our community? Who's to blame? Why isn't anyone doing something to prevent kids from having kids? I am asked these kinds of questions on a regular basis. I often ask them myself as I encounter girls at younger and younger ages coming through our doors. I don't think there are any quick and easy answers, but maybe understanding how they got here to begin with can point us in the right direction.
"I think I just wanted that feeling of being needed; being loved unconditionally."
"I didn't think it would happen to me. We'd had unprotected sex for so long and it hadn't happened so we didn't worry about it."
"My friends told me that having sex is part of being in a relationship. If I didn't do it then my boyfriend would just find someone else who would."
"I'm not blaming them because I made my own choices, but I think if my parents had been more involved in my life, asking questions, and talking to me about stuff maybe I would have made different decisions."
"I thought having a baby would bring me and my boyfriend closer together but along with many other things it tore us apart."
"I first started having sex at 13. I thought I was in love. I was also a cocaine addict and didn't know what the (expletive) I was doing."
"I didn't talk to anyone about my decision to start having sex because no one was there for me to talk to."
"I really liked my boyfriend and he pressured me into having sex."
"I first started having sex at 15 because my "friends" gave me a hard time about being a virgin."
"We always used protection except that one time. And now I know it really only takes that one time!"
This tells me that kids want and need adults to talk to them about the important things...even if they act like they don't. They are searching for acceptance and unconditional love. They are being pressured to do things they aren't ready for and getting misguided information from their friends. So rather than play the blame game or sit around whining about what a big problem we have in our city, let's start by really listening to what our kids are saying and go from there.
