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Newsletter #10
August 2010
In This Issue
New Audio CD Coming Soon
Practicing Acceptance
CFC Living News

Making Room for Joy CD

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Greetings!

We hope this newsletter finds you doing well and enjoying summer!


Our topic for this newsletter is practicing acceptance, an essential component of emotional mindfulness.  Many of us struggle with simply accepting our feelings.  It's hard for us to accept that feelings are just feelings and that they don't have to dictate our mood or how we respond.  As a consequence, we end up stuck.  In order to get to a different emotional place, we first need to accept how we feel.  Acceptance can be a powerful antidote to whatever is keeping us from making better use of the wisdom and power of our emotions.


This summer, we got a chance to practice accepting strong feelings of our own.  While vacationing with Ron's family on the Jersey shore, our ten year old Cairn terrier, Maisy, came down with pancreatitis and was hospitalized.  When we discovered just how sick she was, we started to feel guilty.  "We should be home with her," both of us thought.  We hated thinking of her in the hospital and were afraid that she might not survive.  We both felt restless and worried but struggled to keep our feelings under control.   We realized that even if we flew home to Minnesota there was not much we could do to make her better.  We had to accept the situation and the feelings that were coming up for us.  We practiced simply being present to what was coming up for us, even though it felt uncomfortable.   Acceptance opened the door to our emotional process, allowed us to move through our feelings, and be in a better place to identify what we could do to ensure that Maisy was well cared for.  We were still worried but hopeful and better able to be present with our family.  Fortunately, we returned to find our little dog fully recovered and back to her playful self.


Here are some tips you can use to help you practice acceptance:


Tips for Practicing Acceptance
  • When you notice yourself trying to avoid your feelings or feeling conflicted, give yourself permission to see them simply for what they are.
  • Remind yourself to put judgment or questioning aside and, instead, practice getting curious about your feelings.
  • If you find yourself feeling conflicted about your feelings, remind yourself that emotions are neither right nor wrong; they just are.  Then take a look and see what's there.
  • Notice if there's any resistance in your body; if there is, breathe into it, allowing the energy to open up and flow.  Gently encourage yourself to stay open.
When we allow ourselves to open up and accept our feelings it allows us to begin to move through them and reap their benefits.

Center For Courageous Living News


Ron has started a new AEDP Core training group in Los Angeles, California and is also doing some supervision and consultation there on a regular basis.


Tim has been busy conducting his "Self Care for Success" workshops, most recently for groups of student teachers at the University of St. Thomas.


Keep a look out for the soon to be released,  "Befriending Anger" the second CD of our emotional mindfulness audio series coming soon!



Best regards,
Ron & Tim

Dr. Ron Frederick & Dr. Tim Beyer
Center for Courageous Living