Season's Greetings!

The topic for this newsletter:  Tips for Transition.

As we write this newsletter, we are in the midst of a major life transition.  We are about to relocate the Center for Courageous Living from Minneapolis to Los Angeles in just a few weeks.  This change is one that we've thought about and have been planning for some time.  As excited as we feel, we've found that it is also stressful.  So, we've been practicing what we teach; using our emotional mindfulness skills, tending to self-care, and recognizing and honoring that with any change comes a multitude of feelings.

Because transition and change is something we all experience often in life, and because so many of you are likely going through a transition of your own right now, we thought it fitting that we share some suggestions for handling such experiences:

1.     Take time to feel.  Change, no matter how exciting and positive, typically involves some degree of loss and dealing with loss takes time.  For instance, even though we're excited to be relocating to LA we will also miss family, friends, and many aspects of life in Minneapolis that we have come to love.  Take some time to slow down and tune into your present moment experience. Recognize that grief and loss are a natural reaction to your transition.  Feeling this way doesn't mean you are doing the wrong thing.  Take time to remember and think about the things that have been meaningful and important.  Let yourself grieve.  Also, practice gratitude for all you've come to value and appreciate.

2.    Remember your successes. We've both found it helpful to think about other times in our lives when we've made some significant change.  Tim left a career in banking to attend graduate school, eventually becoming a psychologist.  Ron closed his private practice and moved to Minneapolis from New York City over twelve years ago.  By remembering these life experiences, we can remind ourselves of our capacity to adapt and grow, and, thus, strengthen our confidence in our ability to deal with change in the present.  Chances are that we can adapt to this new or recent change in a comparable or even better way.  In addition, you might find it helpful to remember what it feels like to learn something new like riding a bike.  Remember how shaky you felt at first and how you were convinced that you'd never get the hang of it?  Then, think about how at some point, you just got it.  No shakiness, no falls, no anxiety.  Learning to adjust to the current change can be quite similar.

3.    Maintain a routine. One of the most comforting things about the past is that it was familiar-we were used to it.  We knew what to expect, even if it wasn't always positive.  When we work toward making a change, establishing a new routine can be helpful.  While we all vary in terms of how structured or loose we prefer life to be, establishing some kind of routine can help to ease the way and allow us to do whatever we need to do to move forward.  It's also a way of taking care of ourselves which is especially important during times of change and transition.

4.    Think positively. If we look on the bright side, there always is a light at the end of the tunnel and things do get better.  As time goes on we get used to changes and we become more comfortable.  We adapt.  Over time, we learn that we will survive, that we can succeed and flourish.  The feelings of increased confidence and mastery happen gradually but one day you will wake up and realize how much better you feel.

 

As promised, Befriending Anger, the second CD of our emotional mindfulness audio series is now available!  If you or someone you know struggles with fear and avoidance of anger in themselves or others, this CD is a wonderful tool.  You can learn how to overcome fear and learn to recognize and use anger in adaptive and helpful ways.

 

We are very excited to announce that Ron has been asked to present at the Cape Cod Institute in Eastham, MA this coming summer in late August of 2011.  For further information please visit the Cape Cod Institute website:  http://www.cape.org/ 

 

We will let you know very soon what our new phone number and address will be for the Center for Courageous Living in Los Angeles.  In the meantime you can reach us via email as our website and email addresses will remain unchanged.