Good morning and welcome to Walk with a Doc Super Theaters! (in hushed tone)   

I'm whispering not to disturb the other movie goers. Can you hear me all right?  

Great.  

Please come with me this way.  

We know it's quite dark, so please watch your step as we follow our usher though these thick, red velvet curtains.  

Excuse me? What was that in the back? 

"Yes, very observant of you. We do have all our ushers dress up as Usher."

We hope you find the accommodations to your liking. When you arrive at your plush leather seat, you will find hot popcorn with just enough butter and salt (please see article below), a diet soda/pop, and a box of Junior Mints. The concession stand will be open throughout the film if there's something else we can get you.  

Unless you would you like to see any previews, we'll just go ahead and get started.  

Oh yeah, I almost forgot - the movie is in Russian and has no subtitles.  

If you want to nap instead, we totally understand. 

(zzzz...too late Dr. FunnyMan...zzzzzzzz...too late).  However, if you do want to watch, this is what you will see:  

A world famous heart surgeon (Dr. Leo Bockeria, his daughter, Dr. Olga Bockeria, a blond actress, and 200+ others smiling, laughing, and walking with a doc(s).