David is announced and makes the long entrance; shaking many hands along the route. He eventually finds his way to the 3 "distinguished" leaders well elevated behind the podium, shaking their hands as well. 

This trio includes Walk with a Doc Executive Director Kathryn Stephens looking down and smiling wide. Kathryn is sitting between a 'fake' John Boehner and a 'Fake' Joe Biden.   

David hands 'Boehner' and 'Biden' large, sealed manila envelopes (filled with crayons and a coloring book).  

He looks at the very serious Boehner impersonator and David appears upset. Fake Boehner appears to have left his tanning booth goggles on too long. He looks like a cross between an Oompa Loompa and a racoon. David is likely turned off by this and 'Boehner's' cost ($325/hour!). With David's back turned to the audience he tries to glare right through him, Fake Boehner looks the other way.  

The Biden impersonator looks great - and he's only $70/hour.    

Madam Stephens, Fellow Health Care Providers, Just Walk Board Members, Fellow Americans, and Friendly Canadian, Indian, and Abu Dhabi neighbors (ugh, still really angry about Fake Boehner...just forget about it David!):

We started planning WWAD in late 2004. We began with the notion that we had a special window of opportunity.  We were in a unique situation that could serve the overwhelming majority of our patients and the community as a whole with just a little bit of extra effort.  We built our program on the concept of breaking down the barriers to regular physical activity.  Studies continue to prove to no end what we have always believed in our hearts - that exercise is the fountain of youth (Applause).  In cardiovascular disease alone, studies show that regular activity, maintaining a proper weight, not smoking, and eating a healthy diet will reduce a woman's risk by 84%. (Applause)  These four modifiable components alone will reduce a woman's cardiovascular risk by 84% (Applause).   

Blessed with proof of concept, in 2012 Kathryn and I are focusing on growing our walk sites - doing absolutely everything in our power to provide Walk with a Doc to sites around the world at no cost (applause). WHACK!

I jerk my head around as an orange crayon falls to the hardwood floor. 'Biden' is red-faced and shaking his right hand over a half-drawn Aquaman. He is glaring through Mrs. Stephens. Kathryn is staring straight ahead, ignoring him, and smiling wide towards me. She motions for me to continue on.

This year we will continue to focus on physician recruitment and partnerships that will allow us to continue to fine tune the program as we take it to the next level.   

We encourage all of you fellow Walk with a Doc participants to find it within yourself to ask a neighbor, a friend, or a fellow countryman to join you for a walk or a bike ride. You may not be aware, but what you are doing is saving that person's life (applause as the audience stands).

Thank you all. May God bless you, may God bless your families and may God Bless Walk with a Doc!

David smiles and abruptly steps down. He quickly exits the chamber. 

"That was fast!"

"I think he either had to go the bathroom or he was trying to make up for the 2011 State of the Walk Address. That speech was obnoxiously long"

"Oh no, I see the problem - the teleprompters short-circuited" 

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Want to go get some ice cream?"

"Rocky Road?"

"Sure, why not."