Why then is it so hard for us, as Levine and Kline suggest, "...to convey to your child through word and touch that crying and trembling are normal, healthy reactions" and that "...whatever he is feeling is accepted by you and worthy of your time and attention?" 

As Peter Levine explains in an earlier book, Waking the Tiger, when we are confronted with overwhelming situations energy is "locked in." Those who are able to discharge that energy through a caring connection, like the one we strive to create for our children by using Listening Tools, are restored to emotional equilibrium.  Those who do not often suffer "...a discomfort that can range from mild uneasiness to downright debilitation."  This cache of feelings from past events can also make it very difficult to maintain our own emotional balance when our children experience extremes of emotion.

Offering connection means being able to, more or less gracefully, encounter your child's uncomfortable emotions rather than distracting him, trying to talk him out of feeling that way, or giving in to the urge to send him away from you until he isn't showing them any more.  There are many ways to be with your child's emotions. Some of them are even playful and fun--here is how one mother helped her daughter with a trauma.

Levine and Kline explain it this way, "Your job is to 'stay with' your child.  Your balanced presence makes a safe container for your child to release her tears, fears and any strange new feelings.  Use a calm voice and reassuring hand to let your child know she is on the right track." 

And when you could use a reassuring hand yourself, that's where Listening Partnerships for Parents comes in.  This booklet is one you can share with another parent. It helps us extend the same caring connection we want to cultivate for our children to one another.  And, I like to think, it also makes the world a better place one family at a time.