Whenever January 1st rolls around, I look at my life and what needs changing. Do I want to lose weight? Yes. Do I want my teeth to be brighter? Yes. Do I want more time with friends? Yes. A better grip on finances? Yes.
However, effecting these changes in my life doesn't always seem within my reach. As a friend of mine said when reviewing her resolutions from last year, "Everything I needed help with happened; everything I tried to do on my own, didn't."
In reflecting on that statement, I realized that whenever I've had successes in my life, they are often the result of getting out of my own way and allowing my guides and loved ones in spirit to bring things together in a way I couldn't have imagined. With that in mind, I'd like to share with you what the spirits have taught me about bringing everlasting change into everyday life. Since one of my resolutions this year is to lose weight, I'm using this as an example. However, you can apply these principles to any number of changes you would like to see in your own life, from financial improvement to better relationships, etc.
1. Be Present: One of the challenges I face when communicating with spirits is ascertaining whether they are referring to past, present or future events and actions. The reason for this is that the spirits almost always provide information in the present tense. For instance, during a recent session, a husband in spirit who had left behind a wife and young children, mentioned Hawaii, showed me a beach in my mind and gave me the sense that he was with his family on that same beach in Hawaii. It turns out that the man had lived in Hawaii before he had gotten married (past), his family had scattered his ashes on the beach in Hawaii (present because they were in Hawaii when the session had been scheduled) and that there were plans of returning to Hawaii regularly (future). The past, present and future existed entirely in the present for this loving husband and father.
The fact that the spirits live in the present is helpful when thinking about change in our lives. To make everlasting change, work from where you are. The past and future can only be affected by what we do in the present moment. For instance, if you want to lose weight (as I do), thoughts like, "I've always been overweight (past) and always will be (future)," don't support change but resignation. Instead, in the present moment, I can ask myself questions like, "Am I really hungry?" When paying attention to things as they are right now, I'm no longer locked into a rote way of living and am free from allowing past failings to dictate the future results. I've chosen to live as the spirits live - - in the present tense.
2. Be Willing: One of the greatest misconceptions we maintain about the spirits is that they are fixed in their ways and that change is impossible after death. If a relationship is full of conflict on earth, it can be difficult for us to accept an offer to relate differently. For example, during a recent session by phone, a woman who resented her father's actions was shocked when he gave me the phrase, "I wasn't the father you needed me to be." The woman gasped and asked, "Did he really say that, or are you making it up?" She couldn't conceive that the father who hadn't been there for her might finally acknowledge her needs (which he didn't while on earth). In this case, what may have solidified the daughter's unwillingness to accept a change in the relationship was that she had written a book about her father as he was while on earth. During our session, her father even provided the brand of cigarettes his character in the book smoked. His daughter, however, wasn't willing at that point to give up her version of their story to proceed with a new way of relating.
In thinking about creating everlasting change in my own life, this story prompts me to consider the story I'm telling myself about my own life. In my current story, I have always been a "stout," "plump," "hefty" girl. Now I'm writing a new story, one in which I am willing to be "fit," "active," and "healthy." Daily I approach life with the phrase "I am willing to . . . ." For your purposes, just fill in the blank.
3. Be Grateful: The spirits almost always express gratitude for the ways that we've honored and loved them while they were on earth and after their deaths. "Thank you for helping me keep my dignity," a mother in spirit told the daughter who had bathed her day after day so that she wouldn't be naked in front of a stranger. "Thank you for your friendship and encouragement," a group of children and teenagers in spirit told a young woman who was fighting the cancer from which many of them had died. Gratitude has been severely underrated. The spirits remind us to elevate it to its rightful (and helpful) place in creating everlasting change.
Several years ago, I made a conscious effort to start each day with gratitude. These days (not every day, because I still get disgruntled) I am living in gratitude. When I am grateful for the food I'm eating, I find that I can't be resentful that my skinny friends can eat whatever they want. Gratitude has changed my life. When I think of those I love who are living in spirit, I am grateful for what each of them has brought to my life. In the midst of this gratitude, I know that they are present and willing participants in change and that my gratitude invites their continued presence in my life.
Be Present. Be Willing. Be Grateful. (To date, I have lost 16 pounds.)
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