Throughout the years, I've spoken with alcoholics, abusers and those who abandoned their families to chase something (or someone) that they thought was better.  In many of these cases, their sons and daughters have started their own healing process rather than continue in emotional pain.  Those in spirit who have caused the pain, are often unlikely and sometimes, unwanted, allies and supporters in the healing process.  I know this because, in messages, they share their dedication to the healing of their children and families.
 
For instance, when a woman's father-in-law showed up to speak with her, he gave me the feeling of father but I also heard "husband" in my ear.  The sitter confirmed that her husband's father was in spirit.  Her father-in-law's outgoing personality and joking ways came through very clearly.  I smelled alcohol with his presence and it was confirmed that he had been an alcoholic while on earth.  Most people in the family weren't speaking with him at the end of his life.  This unpopular father thanked his daughter-in-law for taking such good care of his son.  He then went on to mention his son's injured leg and the talk of possible amputation.  Despite his dicey relationships here on earth, this father made a definitive statement that he was interested in his son's life and was going to help him through a difficult time.    
 
Although spirit communication is primarily used to reconnect with loved ones we miss, it also gives estranged fathers an opportunity to be re-introduced to the family.
 
During a recent communication, a father in spirit named Ralph, came to speak with the son he had abandoned when he was just a baby.  Joseph, the son (who had a grown family of his own) had always wondered about his father.  "Not one word was said about him after he left," Joseph told me.   During our session together, Ralph provided specific information about recent happenings in his son's life and those of his grandchildren.  Ralph went on to tell Joseph that he had learned about responsibility, commitment and love for family by observing his son's life on earth.  What I found most interesting about this re-connection, was that it was Joseph's mother in spirit who introduced his father in the session. 
 
Without spirit communication, questions a son had about his father might have gone unanswered until his own death.  After hearing from his father in spirit, feelings of abandonment no longer have to be a driving force in his life.
 
A father in spirit whose entire life was spent caring for and loving his family said to me, "The truest measure by which a man is judged is how he is regarded by his children."  His two daughters confirmed that he used to say this over and over.  They loved their dear father and were happy to have a reunion with him.  During their session, he shared memories of the good times and mentioned the upcoming wedding of his granddaughter. 
 
After dying, all fathers judge themselves by how they are regarded by their children.  Sometime, it is only after death that a father can see clearly how he was loved (or not) by his children.  It is sometimes only after death that a father can see where he failed to love.  It is sometimes only after death that the need to heal broken relationships is able to be expressed. 
 
Life doesn't end with death - - that's the good news for some and for others, the bad news.  Death doesn't release us from taking responsibility for unloving actions.
 
As a medium, it is my job to not only share the love of those in spirit who are lovable, it is my job to also speak the words, "I'm sorry" for those who were unlovable.  In my work the spirits don't force anyone to listen or respond to their apologies.  However, it is often by listening, that healing begins. 
 
For those of you who are on Facebook, please share how your fathers in spirit have made their love known or have said, "I'm sorry."  Or if you want to post a loving tribute to a father figure in your life, please do.