"I don't make New Year's resolutions," a friend told me on the day before New Year's Eve.  Well, I thought, his resolution is to not make resolutions.  How innovative and freeing!  "But," I countered, "don't you think the start of a new year is a good time to reflect on your life?"  "I reflect on my life every day," he responded.  That's great, I thought.  But how many people do that?!  However, it did make me want to poll a few other friends to see what they thought about the whole resolution thing.

So on New Year's Eve, I asked my friends whether they thought resolutions worked - - or not.  One friend thought a moment and said, "When I looked at last year's list, I realized that most of the big things, like 'sing with a big band' had happened - - without any effort on my part."  I remembered her singing with that band; I had been in the audience clapping like mad.  I, also, remembered the numerous bizarre coincidences had made the opportunity possible. She went on to say, "The things on my list that required effort on my part, like whitening my teeth, didn't happen."  This really got me thinking . . .

On New Year's Day, I considered the pros and cons of resolution making.  After a somewhat lengthy internal debate it occurred to me that most resolutions are things that we want to fix about ourselves.  By mustering will power we resolve to whiten our teeth, lose a few pounds, start an exercise routine or stop smoking.  A resolution to "sing with a big band," however, is almost laughable in its grandiosity, and yet it happened without effort.  So what's the difference?

I think that the difference is Spirit.  When I thought about my friend's singing, I remembered that her mother in spirit was also a singer.  Why wouldn't this mother who loves music help to create the opportunity for her daughter to bring joy to others through her beautiful voice?

This year instead of making resolutions to fix myself, I've decided to be open to co-creating opportunities with Spirit to serve others.  Being committed to bring joy, peace and love to others through creativity and sensitivity cannot fail because that's where loved ones in spirit love to help. 

Don't get me wrong.  Those who love us also want us to take care of ourselves and will help us to do that, too.  During many sessions, a father, mother, husband or friend will provide an encouraging message about an exercise plan.  The point really is that those in spirit want to be included.  They will exercise with us, sing with us, play with us, write with us, knit with us, dance with us and celebrate life with us.

This new year may also be the time to take a look at what's hiding in the closets, literally and emotionally.  Maybe it is time to let go of "stuff" that we really don't need, so that we have space and freedom to experience new connections with loved ones here and in spirit. 

What about letting go of self-criticism and embracing self-acceptance instead?  Imperfections are often merely what distinguishes us from others.  In all important ways, loved ones in spirit see us as perfect. 

What about releasing the anger around the time, place or circumstances of a loved one's death?  Anger locks the doors of heaven from earth's side making it hard for Spirit's love to get back through.  (We're the only ones who can unlock the door from the earth side.)

What about giving up the idea that the grief is an expression of great love?   Grief dilutes love but forgiveness and love can transform grief.  

So instead of making resolutions this year, I've decided to co-create solutions with Spirit.  Where there is a need, I will be of service.  Where there is despair, I will share hope.  Where there is death, I will share life.  Maybe you'd like to trade in resolutions for solutions, too.  If we all do, we just might end up transforming our lives and changing the world - - with Spirit's help.  Now that's an interesting way to start out the new year.

For those of you who are on Facebook, please post your thoughts about this article.  What are you letting go?  What are you keeping?  What are your aspirations? How do you feel that your loved ones in spirit are inspiring your life?  If you would like to share your thoughts, but aren't on Facebook, just send an email to HollisterRand@sbcglobal.net and we'll post for you.