First, some background. The most inefficient business in existence is the one-person business. This lonely person does all the work of the business, from planning to execution. He or she is the executive officer, the sales person, and the one who actually does the work. Then there are the administrative tasks, such as answering the phone, receiving payments and getting them deposited, opening the mail, keeping the office cleaned, and the list goes on.

So, this sole worker decides to solve the problem by employing someone. This person might be brought in to do the finances, although this task is generally given to the business owner's ill-prepared wife. More likely, the business owner will bring in someone to do sales or actually do the work of the business. Both of these positions are key positions.

And the business owner relies financially and emotionally on this relationship for the success of the business. So, when this person decides to go work somewhere else, there is usually an emotional  response from the business owner. And it is not always good.

It could be that the business owner may have spent money on training this person. You can be certain owners have spent a lot of time talking to them, helping them see the business owners dream and trying to get them to be a part of that vision.

So, when the employee quits, this personally affronts the business owner. "I put time and effort into this person." Or, "I paid them even when I went without" are often typical responses from business owners at this stage of a broken relationship.

You see, what the business owner wanted was loyalty. So when the employee quits, he can mistakenly, in my opinion, take this as a sign of disloyalty. It's almost like an adulterous affair in marriage, and the emotional response from many business owners can be almost as strong.

There's a side tragedy in all this. It is a fact that many startup businesses are started by employees going into competition with their former employer. And when this happens, it can make the emotional response of the business owner even stronger.

Now there are two lessons in this, one for business owners and one for employees in small businesses. For business owners, it is a lesson in business relationships. Yes, there is a strong emotional reliance on employees in key positions. But at the end of the day, unless they have broken an employment contract, they have no obligation to stay with you. You should also consider that most employees quit because of their manager not because of the company. So you might need to look at your management style as a cause of the separation.

For employees, it can help if you understand the underlying emotional issues that often develop in small business owners who rely on key staff. These feelings are often unstated and taken for granted.  Employees do not understand why business owners respond the way they do. Just remember, small business owners are usually struggling to grow and make ends meet, and while having additional employees is a necessary step to growth, this puts financial and emotional strain on business owners.

And finally, if you are tempted to leave and go into competition with your former employer by taking some of his key customers to get your start, you might want to consider your own emotions and ethical judgment in such an act. They may need a little fine-tuning.