Daily Lesson

  

   L e s s o n  22

What I see is a form of vengeance.

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<GUIDANCE from ELDER BROTHER>

¹ Today's idea accurately describes the way anyone who holds attack thoughts in his mind must see the world. Having projected his anger onto the world, he sees vengeance about to strike at him. His own attack is thus perceived as self defense. This becomes an increasingly vicious circle until he is willing to change how he sees. Otherwise, thoughts of attack and counter-attack will preoccupy him and people his entire world. What peace of mind is possible to him then?

² It is from this savage fantasy that you want to escape. Is it not joyous news to hear that it is not real? Is it not a happy discovery to find that you can escape? You made what you would destroy-everything that you hate and would attack and kill. All that you fear does not exist.

³ Look at the world about you at least five times today, for at least a minute each time. As your eyes move slowly from one object to another, from one body to another, say to yourself:

⁴ I see only the perishable.
I see nothing that will last.
What I see is not real.
What I see is a form of vengeance.

⁵ At the end of each practice period, ask yourself:

⁶ Is this the world I really want to see?

⁷ The answer is surely obvious.

Workbook - Part 1
 Introduction 

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Voice & Music by CIMS SonShip Radio  

¹ A theoretical foundation such as the text is necessary as a background to make these exercises meaningful. Yet it is the exercises which will make the goal possible. An untrained mind can accomplish nothing. It is the purpose of these exercises to train the mind to think along the lines which the course sets forth.

² The exercises are very simple. They do not require more than a few minutes, and it does not matter where or when you do them. They need no preparation. They are numbered, running from 1 to 365. The training period is one year. Do not undertake more than one exercise a day.

³ The purpose of these exercises is to train the mind to a different perception of everything in the world. The workbook is divided into two sections, the first dealing with the undoing of what you see now and the second with the restoration of sight. It is recommended that each exercise be repeated several times a day, preferably in a different place each time and, if possible, in every situation in which you spend any long period of time. The purpose is to train the mind to generalize the lessons, so that you will understand that each of them is as applicable to one situation as it is to another.

⁴ Unless specified to the contrary, the exercise should be practiced with the eyes open, since the aim is to learn how to see. The only rule that should be followed throughout is to practice the exercises with great specificity. Each one applies to every situation in which you find yourself and to everything you see in it. Each day's exercises are planned around one central idea, the exercises themselves consisting of applying that idea to as many specifics as possible. Be sure that you do not decide that there are some things you see to which the idea for the day is inapplicable. The aim of the exercises will always be to increase the application of the idea to everything. This will not require effort. Only be sure that you make no exceptions in applying the idea.

⁵ Some of the ideas you will find hard to believe, and others will seem quite startling. It does not matter. You are merely asked to apply them to what you see. You are not asked to judge them, nor even to believe them. You are asked only to use them. It is their use which will give them meaning to you, and show you they are true. Remember only this-you need not believe them, you need not accept them, and you need not welcome them. Some of them you may actively resist. None of this will matter nor decrease their efficacy. But allow yourself to make no exceptions in applying the ideas the exercises contain. Whatever your reactions to the ideas may be, use them. Nothing more than this is required.

ACIM Edmonton - Sarah's Reflections 

Lesson  22 
What I see is a form of vengeance.     

Sarah's Commentary:        

We see a world of form. It is a world where our attack thoughts are projected out--where the anger that is in our own minds is seen in the world but now it appears that it is independent of our own minds. "Having projected his anger onto the world, he sees vengeance about to strike at him." (1.2) Now we see the world attacking us. We don't recognize that what we are seeing are out own attack thoughts projected outward and thus seen all around us. They are our own thoughts. They are thoughts that originate with the separation from God and the unconscious guilt that is now in our minds. It is so intolerable that the ego gives us the solution which is to project it out and see it in the world. Now we fear retaliation from the world. Why is that? Well we believe we deserve punishment.  Now we live in fear of what is coming at us from the world. We feel we are at the mercy of a world that treats us badly. We feel victimized by the world. It is a thought system that everyone brings into the world. It can't be otherwise because we all are here because of our choice for separation from God and our belief that we have attacked him to gain our independent self. We don't like to take responsibility for our attack thoughts and thus we protect ourselves by claiming that we only attack in self defense. "His own attack is thus perceived as self defense." (1.3) Now we see ourselves as the innocent victims and others as the guilty ones.

"This becomes an increasingly vicious circle until he is willing to change how he sees.  Otherwise, thoughts of attack and counter-attack will preoccupy him and people his entire world.  What peace of mind is possible to him then?" (1.4-6) We are all stuck in this vicious cycle until we ask for help from outside of this thought system which is where this course teaching comes in. When we are willing to see that the cycle starts in our own minds and that our thoughts are the source for our experience, then the attack and counter-attack that has set up our entire world can be changed. As we see in the lesson tomorrow, Jesus assures us that we can escape from the world we see and we do that by giving up our own attack thoughts which is where the vicious cycle begins. It begins in our own minds and not in the world. This is good news for us, even though there is considerable resistance to it. Why is that? Because we actually want others to be responsible for how we feel so that we can see our own attacks as justified and that we are innocent victims of what others are doing. Jesus tells us that this is not so. We have it all wrong. But the good news is that now we can begin to see that the power is in our own minds to choose again.

He reminds in in Chapter 21 that "everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked." (T.21.II.2.5). "For the guilty expect attack and having asked for it, they are attracted to it". (15.VII.6.6)

This motivation for punishment is obviously not in our conscious minds. We are not aware of how much guilt we have because a veil of forgetfulness has been drawn over it. It has been repressed and denied. But we have a vague sense that it is always there. And because it is, we see a dangerous world which we feel we need to defend ourselves from. So we build defenses. Yet with each defense we build, our fear increases. 

Jon Mundy, an ACIM teacher/student, in his book "The Missouri Mystic" writes about being fired as a Methodist Minister. On his way to the office of the Bishop, he keeps saying over and over "Do not attack this man and do not defend yourself" When he arrives and hears the news of his being fired he writes "I think of something to say and then think 'no, this is an attack'. Then I think of something else and then think 'no this is a defense'. So I say what he wants to hear me say, the only thing that is not an attack or a defense. I say 'good-bye'." And having done so, he saw later that the Bishop was actually doing him a great service. "He knew I wasn't a Methodist even before I did. Whoever wrestles with us hones our nerve and strengthens our skill. Bishop Black pushes me onward and upward to become who I'm meant to be. He helps me to fulfill my destiny." So as we give up the attack and defense thoughts in our own mind, choosing the miracle brings healing and breaks us out of this vicious cycle of attack and counterattack. But it is never what the ego counsels us to do. Only by bringing the mind in alignment with the Holy Spirit, with peace, can we choose another way to respond.

For the lesson yesterday, we started the process of looking at our anger thoughts many of which we have long tried to hide from our awareness by not looking at them or by diminishing their importance and by projecting them out on the world. But having projected my attack thoughts on the world, I now expect vengeance to come back at me. This becomes that vicious cycle of attack and defense from which there seems no way out. And indeed there isn't until we take total and complete responsibility for what we perceive that we have come to believe is outside of our own minds. With willingness, we bring our attack thoughts, that have been pushed into the unconscious to our attention. Looking at our own attack thoughts without judgment is enough. When we look without judgment and acknowledge responsibility, space is made for the miracle.  The ego wants to kick and scream at the very idea of this. "What do you mean?" it demands. "Look at what they are doing to me. I am totally justified in my anger. I have every reason to be upset." But just as Jon discovered, the only way to peace is by giving up our own attack thoughts and bringing them to the light of truth.

The message offered here is that there is escape from all of this. We can achieve peace of mind. If it is our thoughts that have made everything that we experience, and none of it is real but all a "savage fantasy" made up by our own thoughts. The  power is in our minds to make a new decision. And because we have made it up we then we have the power to change it all by realizing that it is all just a fantasy made by our belief in the perishable, in the world of form, in something that is not real and does not actually exist. All I am seeing in the world is my own attack thoughts-nothing else!! These attack thoughts are crystallized into form. 

Our minds are indeed very powerful in the illusion. The only way that they are not powerful is that they can't change who we are as the Son of God. The Atonement Principle assures us of this. But in the illusion we can do anything that we believe. We literally can move mountains. Once we recognize the power of our minds, we can use this power to escape from this insanity we have made and learn that there is another way-a more joyful, peaceful way to live within the illusion of this world until such time as we are ready to wake up from this dream that we are dreaming. The power of our minds is always at work. We don't completely believe this as yet. However, we are told that somewhere in us we do know that we have such power and that is precisely why we dismiss it because of our fear of love.  If we deny that we have it then we can't be afraid of it. This denial of our power is supported by people who tell us not to worry about your crazy thoughts as long as we don't act on them. But this is not the truth. The power of our minds continues to work but without our control. That is even more frightening to think about. When we recognize that the mind never loses its creative force, then we will be more motivated to be vigilant in watching our thoughts.

When we take these small daily steps in our practice, we will experience some disorientation in this period of undoing. But with each step we take, we are making progress to another way of seeing, until we increasingly recognize that we don't want the world of attack and defense that we made.

Like many of the lessons here, it can be tough for us to accept that we have all this anger in us, not just some of the time, but all of the time. Our desire to see nothing but peace and love will change what we see in the world.  This became clear when David Hoffmeister was here and kept reminding us that "if you spot it you've got it" meaning that we only see in another what is in our own mind. Others are merely mirrors for us to reflect back our own issues, our own inner experience, which is brought forward for our attention and healing. And remember as this lesson says, it truly is a happy discovery that we can escape all of this "savage fantasy". But this lesson goes beyond the concept of "if you spot it you got it". While that is true, and we do see our anger projected on the world and looking back at us as an angry world, it goes beyond that. It actually is about counterattack so that when we put our angry thoughts on the world, we expect not only to see them reflected back at us but to actually counterattack and create a perceived need for defense in us.

The world truly is tired and aren't we all getting weary? Isn't it good to know that "all that you fear does not exist" (2.5) because only the eternal, everlasting and changeless is real.

So today as you practice this lesson, remember that what you are seeing is a form of vengeance because you look on it with anger causing you to believe that others will want to get revenge on you. But this vengeful world is just our own projection of our own thoughts which exist only in our savage fantasy or our imagination. As such it is not real. And if it is not real it has no permanence. So our goal today is to become willing to look at our own vengeful thoughts. And the results of this can be very powerful in bringing peace to our minds.

As an example, Don had made plans to be away with his buddies next week but did not tell me of this plan. When I asked him about it he said he thought he had told me. The ego mind immediately had thoughts of being dismissed as unimportant; feeling left out; wanting to retaliate with "well I will just go ahead and do my own thing and not consider you." As these thoughts rolled through my mind, I stopped and looked at my own unworthiness, my attack thoughts, my fears and asked for help to see from above this battleground. And from that place I had to laugh at myself playing out this victim role in the dream. It only took a moment but in that choice, peace prevailed. I said nothing to him and determined that peace was more important than revenge. My mind would not have been changed so quickly without years of course practice. But I am grateful that opportunities like this show up for me to look at my vengeful thoughts and take responsibility for them.

We are encouraged to do this lesson at least five times today for at least one minute each time by: looking around us and as our eyes move slowly from one thing to another to say "I see only the perishable. I see nothing that will last. What I see is not real. What I see is a form of vengeance". This is a very challenging statement when we apply it to our own separate self. And when we do, we have to see that we still want the perishable body and world because we are still seemingly in it. Thus you can again see that there is resistance that shows up with each lesson.

Conclude by asking yourself "Is this the world I really want to see?"    He says that the  "The answer is surely obvious." (9.2) But to us, it is not so obvious when we are still invested in the world. We still do want to see it and be part of it. But Jesus assures us that this world is not what we truly want in our sane mind. Beyond this world there is a world we do want.  

Love and blessings, Sarah

Sarah's Home Page

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A Course in Miracles   
TEXT  

Chapter Two   

The Illusion of Separation

IV. Fear as Lack of Love     

⁷² You believe that "being afraid" is involuntary, something beyond your control. Yet I have told you several times that only constructive acts should be involuntary. We have said that Christ-control can take over everything that does not matter, while Christ-guidance can direct everything that does if you so choose. Fear cannot be Christ-controlled, but it can be self-controlled. It prevents me from controlling it. The correction is therefore a matter of your will because its presence shows that you have raised the unimportant to a higher level than it warrants. You have thus brought it under your will, where it does not belong. This means that you feel responsible for it. The level confusion here is obvious.

⁷³ The reason I cannot control fear for you is that you are attempting to raise to the mind level the proper content of lower-order reality. I do not foster level confusion, but you can choose to correct it. You would not tolerate insane behavior on your part and would hardly advance the excuse that you could not help it. Why should you tolerate insane thinking? There is a confusion here which you would do well to look at clearly. You believe that you are responsible for what you do but not for what you think. The truth is that you are responsible for what you think because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice.

⁷⁴ What you do comes from what you think. You cannot separate yourself from the truth by "giving" autonomy to behavior. This is controlled by me automatically as soon as you place what you think under my guidance. Whenever you are afraid, it is a sure sign that you have allowed your mind to miscreate or have not allowed me to guide it. It is pointless to believe that controlling the outcome of mis-thought can result in healing. When you are fearful you have willed wrongly. This is why you feel responsible for it. You must change your mind, not your behavior, and this is a matter of will.

⁷⁵ You do not need guidance except at the mind level. Correction belongs only at the level where creation is possible. The term does not mean anything at the symptom level, where it cannot work. The correction of fear is your responsibility. When you ask for release from fear, you are implying that it is not. You should ask instead for help in the conditions which have brought the fear about. These conditions always entail a separated mind willingness. At that level, you can help it. You are much too tolerant of mind wandering, thus passively condoning its miscreations. The particular result does not matter, but the fundamental error does. The correction is always the same. Before you will to do anything, ask me if your will is in accord with mine. If you are sure that it is, there will be no fear.

⁷⁶ Fear is always a sign of strain, which arises whenever the will to do conflicts with what you do. This situation arises in two ways:

⁷⁷ First, you can will to do conflicting things, either simultaneously or successively. This produces conflicted behavior, which is intolerable to yourself because the part of the will that wants to do something else is outraged.

⁷⁸ Second, you can behave as you think you should but without entirely willing to do so. This produces consistent behavior but entails great strain within the self.

^78a In both cases, the will and the behavior are out of accord, resulting in a situation in which you are doing what you do not will. This arouses a sense of coercion, which usually produces rage. The rage then invades the mind and projection in the wrong sense is likely to follow. Depression or anxiety is virtually certain.

⁷⁹ Remember that whenever there is fear, it is because you have not made up your mind. Your will is split, and your behavior inevitably becomes erratic. Correcting at the behavioral level can shift the error from the first to the second type of strain described above but will not obliterate the fear. It is possible to reach a state in which you bring your will under my guidance without much conscious effort, but this implies habit patterns which you have not developed dependably as yet. God cannot ask more than you will. The strength to do comes from your own undivided will to do. There is no strain in doing God's Will as soon as you recognize that it is also your own.

⁸⁰ The lesson here is quite simple but particularly apt to be overlooked. I will therefore repeat it, urging you to listen. Only your mind can produce fear. It does so whenever it is conflicted in what it wills, thus producing inevitable strain because willing and doing become discordant. This cannot be corrected by better doing, but it can be corrected by higher willing.