L e s s o n  328

I choose the second place to gain the first. 
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IAMBIC PENTAMETER 
format from URTEXT by Lee Flynn

   Creation is the sum of all God's Thoughts,

   in number infinite, and everywhere

   without all limit. Only Love creates,

   and only like Itself. There was no time

   when all that It created was not there.

   Nor will there be a time when anything

   that It created suffers any change.

   Forever and forever are God's Thoughts

   exactly as They were and as They are,

   unchanged through time and after time is done.

   God's Thoughts are given all the power that

   Their own Creator has. For He would add

   to Love by Its extension. Thus His Son

   shares in creation, and must therefore share

   in power to create. What God has willed

   to be forever one will still be one

   when time is over; and will not be changed

   throughout the course of time, remaining as

   it was before the thought of time began.

   Creation is the opposite of all

   illusions, for Creation is the truth.

   Creation is the holy Son of God,

   for in Creation is His Will complete

   in every aspect, making every part

   container of the whole. Its oneness is

   forever guaranteed inviolate;

   forever held within His holy Will

   beyond all possibility of harm,

   of separation, imperfection and

   of any spot upon its sinlessness.

   We are creation; we the Sons of God.

   We seem to be discrete and unaware

   of our eternal unity with Him.

   Yet back of all our doubts, past all our fears,

   there still is certainty. For Love remains

   with all Its Thoughts, Its sureness being Theirs.

   God's memory is in our holy minds,

   which know their oneness, and their unity

   with their Creator. Let our function be

   only to let this memory return,

   only to let God's Will be done on earth,

   only to be restored to sanity,

   and to be but as God created us.

   Our Father calls to us. We hear His Voice,

   and we forgive creation in the Name

   of its Creator, Holiness Itself,

   Whose holiness His own creation shares;

   Whose holiness is still a part of us.

   ~ Original Handscript of ACIM  January 12, 1971

This lesson is about the recognition that the ego always wants to be first in everything. I remember when my grandchildren were little, so often the reason for tears was that one didn't get to sit in the front seat; or someone got a bigger piece of cake; or felt that they were left in second place one way or another. The ego is competitive and wants first place in everything all the time. I was listening to a lecture on Buddhism a while ago and one of the precepts of that teaching was that one might look at stepping back and letting a brother go first, letting him get the first and biggest piece of cake, letting him be the one that shines. It is the same idea of supporting someone else to be in the first place while recognizing that there is no loss to us, but only gain, in supporting our brother. This shows up in various ways.

In the world, second place does seem to put us in a losing position. What about me we ask? If I don't look after myself I will lose. It is the principle talked about the course of one or the other. If I gain someone must lose.  Look at the election results! The second place loses! But the lesson says we have an upside down perspective until we listen to the Voice for God. So it seems the Holy Spirit has a very different perspective in that He teaches that God is the Cause and we are the Effect which seems to put us in second place until there is the realization that there is only one. And thus there is no second place. With that realization comes the perspective that only with the choice for the ego have I put myself in second place. With the choice for the Holy Spirit we gain the first place as that is all there is. Now there is no competition.

Our choice for our autonomy and independence is a competition with God and a belief that we have won because now we have our own separate will, our own freedom from Him and our autonomy.  This is because we think it is the first place where no one tells us what to do. We make all of our own decisions and we think that this is part of exercising our own independent will. To do anything else seems like a place of loss. But what have we really won? According to this lesson with this choice, has come "sickness, suffering and loss and death." (1.3)    And, indeed, that is our experience as a result of our choice for the world and our part in it as the special one on the throne of our sorry kingdom. But it seems we would rather rule this sorry kingdom of suffering and loss than be the king which in fact, is to be the Effect of God with all of His characteristics. Our choice for the ego then, is a choice for a limited, powerless, place of pain and suffering and ultimately death. 

But what is this will that we are so happy to choose? Over and over, we are told in the course that this is an alien will and it wants us dead. It tells us to seek the pleasures of the world yet it is only to find pain. It imprisons us in the name of our freedom to make our own way, separate from everyone else and ultimately alone and lonely. This is the place we have chosen. And so this lesson says that we can make another choice. We can choose the second place and in so doing, to " join with His (will) is but to find our own".  (1.5) This puts us in a position where we are indeed no longer in competition with His Will and recognize that we will only gain our freedom and our happiness by recognizing how wrong we have been about everything. This is the beginning of the willingness to be taught. Yet this will we are exerting does not even exist because the lesson says that "nor is there any second will to His" (1.4) It is more like a parasite that seems to have invaded our being and we have given it life by believing in it.

It is in our decision to release our will that we know we are "wholly safe and eternally at peace." (2.3) That is  God's Will for us. But we won't join with that Will, which is in fact our own true will, until we surrender our own will.

It seems like we lose when we surrender. It feels like we give something up. It may feel like some kind of submission to us....especially us overly- independent types who have always prided ourselves on our self reliance. But, as earlier lessons tell us, the only thing we give up is our fear. The only thing we 'sacrifice' is illusion which is nothing. 

 Anything that I try to do my way, or anytime that I think I know what is for my best interests, only brings more fear. As this lesson says, we really believe that maintaining our independence "is the way in which salvation is obtained". (1.2) We choose to be right rather than to be happy. We believe that we know best what will make us happy. Yet the lesson again reminds us that the only way we will ever experience happiness is to recognize that "to join with His (will) is but to find our own". (1.5)  So if we really want to experience joy, we need to choose the second place.

How do we do that? Well one way is to keep asking. "God, what is your Will for me in this situation?" "What would you have me do or say?" "Where would you have me go?" We happily choose to follow. We commit to our brothers and join with them recognizing our same nature, our Oneness. We give up the fight. We release our grievances.

A friend was telling me this morning that he has been whining and complaining a lot about his life and his status in the world. His ego was of the opinion that he was not gaining sufficiently the things that he determined were his salvation in the world-a relationship, more money, a home of his own etc. Yet, in a moment of realization, when he stopped defining his own happiness, he saw that none of these things he thought he wanted ever brought him deep peace and joy. And yet in his spiritual practice he increasingly felt these gifts of God.   Sometimes we get so focused on defining the way things should be that we fail to see the perfection in the way they are. And this is the place for gratitude.

Our ego ideals for our lives ultimately bring suffering. When we want things to be different than they are we suffer. Recognizing what does not matter, and nothing does, is the key to happiness. We will even have grievances about the weather-not warm enough, not cool enough, not humid enough....it is all about our agendas for how things must be for us to be happy. There is nothing that has to happen for us to open up to God's Will in our lives and His Will is only for our happiness. There is no book that has to be written, there is no building that has to be built, there is no place that we have to visit, there is nobody in our lives that has to do anything. There are no demands or expectations of anyone. There is only surrender to God's Will by turning to Him for guidance. My experience is that when I truly let go, then the miracle can shine forth. Now anything can happen and it becomes an amazing gift when we get out of our own way.

That is why movies like "What the Bleep Do We Know" speak of our upside-down perceptions. In this lesson he says "for all things we perceive are upside down until we listen to the Voice for God."  (1.1) So what looks to us as the second place is actually the first. We think that by striving to be separate and by keeping our autonomy we gain. Yet the truth is we end up losing. Eventually, we are all brought to our knees one way or another. If this does not happen dramatically, then it happens in small doses of ever-increasing sense of malaise. "What is it all for?" we ask. Not until then do we seem to have some willingness to find another way. The Bible also talks about this in Mathew when the disciples leave everything to follow Jesus. Jesus tells them that the first will be last and the last first. In other words, if I connect it to this lesson, he is saying that to follow him and join with him may look like last place but in fact it is to gain the first place. "Not my will but Thine" are the words of humility. Yet the irony is that His Will is our true will. Our own false will that wants to exalt itself above God's is an alien will.

So we enter the kingdom as little children. We acknowledge that we don't know. We ask  in everything. Our own will is not God expressing through us to support everything we want to do and choosing everything that we think will make us happy because we don't know. Why don't we know? Because, to start, we don't even know who we are. So how can we know our own best interests?  Some like to say in everything, "just follow your prompts". But who are we listening to?  How do we hear the prompts of the Holy Spirit? How do we know which are which? It takes great discernment and a willingness to question our motivations. Clearly we have become confused about where our guidance is coming from. It is a good start to do two things. One is to ask in everything. Second is to keep acknowledging that we don't know and be willing to surrender. And finally to take the time in deep listening and confidence that He hears and answers all of our prayers remembering though that when we pray for things of the ego, we ask for nothing. And today we are asked to realize that by choosing second place, which is to choose to follow God's Will, we are actually getting the first place. This is the place where we join with the power of His Will which is our own true will, where we know ourselves as one with Him.

Love and blessings, Sarah

Sarah's Home Page

Quotes in this article are from Foundation for Inner Peace edition; To locate the same quotes in the 'Original Edition', use this link:  http://www.jcim.net/acim_us/Acim.php  
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^{A Course in Miracles
 TEXT
 Chapter Thirty One
The Simplicity of Salvation}

IV. The Real Alternative