By its very definition, when the present is freed of past mistakes, and the guilt that accompanies them, then our experience of the present would be that of total peace. It is our guilt  that "casts a shadow" on the future and keeps us in fear of punishment for past sins. Yet the lesson says that when we release the past, then our goal is no longer death but now it is life. And "all the needed means (to life) are happily provided." (1.4) What are these 'means' that we are given to help free us from the past? According to the Course they are miracles, vision, holy instants, holy relationships, holy encounters, forgiveness.

But we have to first admit that our stories of the past and our judgments and attack thoughts on ourselves are just mistaken perceptions and not the truth. (2.1) Our past does not determine the future. The Holy Spirit teaches us through His means, that the present is the only determiner of the future. It is what we are choosing to believe right NOW; it is about our willingness to forgive, and to release all of the past "idols and images" (1.3) that dance in our heads, and instead clean the slate with the Holy Spirit's help so we become a clear and shining light in the world.

So what are those idols and images? Might they be the guilt we feel about the  unloving things that we have done to others or unloving thoughts we hold about others? They are the destructive elements of our human psyche..the hurtful things we have said and done, our pursuit of money, power, prestige at the expense of others, our lack of forgiveness for our perceived mistreatment...isn't it all of these things that haunt us that we think will cast a long shadow on our future? It is our own past mistakes that we worry will catch up with us. And now we make an idol of this fear by clinging to it and focusing on it. Perhaps we even worship it believing that we must not let it go so that it shows up as a strong attachment to the past. Without these images of the past, what would we fear? Isn't that why death holds attraction for us? According to the course we feel we have it coming because of past mistakes where we believe we must now pay our debt.

 If you look at the section of the Course called the "Shadows of the Past" (T. 17.III)  it says here that "to forgive is merely to remember the loving thoughts you gave in the past, and those that were given you. All the rest must be forgotten. Forgiveness is a selective remembering, based not on your selection. For the shadow figures you would make immortal are 'enemies' of reality. Be willing to forgive the Son of God for what he did not do. The shadow figures are the witnesses you bring with you to demonstrate he did what he did not. Because you bring them, you will hear them. And you who keep them by your own selection, do not understand how they came into your mind and what their purpose is. They represent the evil that you think was done to you. You bring them with you only that you may return evil for evil, hoping their witness will enable you to think guiltily of another and not harm yourself."

Our part is to look at these thoughts in the mind that we condemn ourselves for. In keeping these idols and images of the past, we are only creating more pain and suffering for ourselves. We are keeping the ego's program going. But the Holy Spirit helps us with this when we accept His help. "My holy brother, I would enter into all your relationships and step between you and your fantasies. Let my relationship to you be real to you and let me bring reality to your perception of your brothers. They were not created to enable you to hurt yourself through them.  (T.17.III.10.1-3) All that Jesus wants to do is to bring peace to our minds so that we can be released from our pain. But first we have to realize that we are in pain and are willing to choose a better way. And to do that we must realize that we have been mistaken in our way. "Father, we were mistaken in the past and choose to use the present to be free". (2.1)  Jesus can only help us with our choice and willingness to allow these fantasies to be released, so that indeed we can see a future different from the past. Don't we all want this? But how willing are we to turn our perceptions of the past over to the Holy Spirit for healing? How much responsibility can we handle in agreeing that everything that seems to have happened and continues to happen to us is by our request?

I know how difficult this can seem. As I do the healing work using the clearing process, I see and experience the struggle of letting go of our perceptions of the past. But what this requires is that we let go of the blame we place on others and the justification we hold for our lack of forgiveness.  So many painful events that we hold onto and seem justified in not forgiving, keep us bound in the past. But as the lesson yesterday reminded us, we want to know our own sinlessness and the only way to know it is to release the past. Sometimes this process is experienced as painful for it does require looking at the past hurts and feeling the pain of them as well as the pain of our own attacks. Thus acknowledgement of our own mistakes must be made. But we are helped by mighty companions who walk with us into this darkness.

So as Chapter 4.IV "This Need Not Be" reminds us, "Your mind is filled with schemes to save the face of your ego, and you do not seek the face of Christ". Isn't that what we are constantly doing? We justify our part so we can seem innocent and see others as guilty for our condition and for the way we are feeling. But now for the good news! "Who can grieve or suffer when the present has been freed extending its security and peace into a quiet future filled with joy?" (1.5) In the present is where we are free. Yes we do have the means to be released. We can leave our past mistakes behind so that we can have a future very different from the past. It does not require that anything changes in our world. It only requires that we admit our mistakes. We seem reluctant to do that? Why? Because we work so hard to maintain the face of innocence? Who me? I am well meaning. If others were different then I could be more loving, we proclaim. Not so, says Jesus. The more we defend, the more fear we will have. Byron Katie likes to say that the first act of war is defense of ourselves. Interesting thought! In my defenselessness my safety lies. We must start by acknowledging that we were wrong. "Father, we were mistaken in the past....." and now we choose to use the present to be free. 

Love and blessings, Sarah

Sarah's Home Page

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