Excerpt from full Article:  

"The Miracle of Forgiveness" PDF

At the time of this writing (June of 2011), I have not had a drink in over 28 years. For the first few years of my recovery, which began the day I walked into my first 12 step meeting, I had a real hard time understanding how I could have been so cruel to myself for so long. I looked at all of the life threatening situations I put myself into (there were many) and judged myself unmercifully. Today, I have a very different perspective. I see all of the ways that I could very easily have ended up dead, and I thank God for saving me from my own ignorance and fear. Clearly, He has work for me to do and I am more than willing to do it. But back then, I beat myself with a massive baseball bat of judgment and carried an unnecessary burden of implacable guilt about the things I did, the people I hurt, and the damage I caused while I was under the influence of alcohol.

I had a lot to learn until I was finally able to forgive myself.

I had to learn that becoming an alcoholic and a dry drunk were not my goals. It was not something I set out to accomplish. And it was not a life long dream of mine to end up a slave to a bottle of booze. I didn't plan to become a dry drunk, slipping further and further into insanity every day and fighting with all my might to keep from going over the edge. I did not know that I had an addictive personality. I did not know that my abuse of alcohol was abnormal because I hung around with people who did the same thing. I did not know that growing up in a crazy alcoholic household would have a deep and profound impact on me mentally and spiritually. And I did not know that I did not know.

In order to forgive myself I had to recognize that I was not in my right mind when I was an active alcoholic, that I was under the power of something I didn't remotely understand, and that I ended up becoming someone that I really am not. I had to realize that I could not possibly have known the things I needed to know in order to intervene in my own life. I had to admit that, as intelligent, sophisticated and accomplished as I like to think I am, I knew nothing of the dark cloud that descended upon me, including the fact that it was even there. I had to finally understand that I made a lot of mistakes, all the while thinking I was doing the right things. I did not know what I was dealing with and I didn't know that I did not know. On this basis I was finally able to forgive myself and experience the relief that only genuine forgiveness can provide.

My forgiveness did not change the fact that I still have a life threatening disease, fully earned, one drink at a time. But it did cause a shift in my perspective and remove the guilt I felt toward myself that I always re-directed onto any available target, particularly my family and anyone else who made the mistake of trying to get close to me. My forgiveness also allowed me to understand that, although I became an alcoholic, an alcoholic is not who I am. I learned that real forgiveness, freely applied, will remove all the emotional turmoil I can bring into my life. I also learned that genuine forgiveness is a universal truth, and if I can learn it and apply it to my life, anyone can. There is nothing special about me. But there is a lot that is very special about genuine forgiveness.

Forgiveness is very often misunderstood. That which passes as the popularly practiced form of forgiveness is largely a waste of time, and a cruel joke perpetrated by an ego that has no desire to give up one small speck of control without a fight.

In order for forgiveness to be real it has to create an immediate, noticeable and permanent shift in the long term feelings of the one doing the forgiving. It doesn't matter whether or not there is an immediate effect on the person being forgiven, because that is neither the intent nor the point. When we forgive someone, very much like me forgiving myself for becoming an alcoholic, we release ourselves of the immense burden judgment and guilt place on our hearts and souls. My forgiveness has nothing to do with anyone but me. By forgiving my family, especially my father, I was able to have an actual relationship with him because he did not have to change anything. I made the shift for both of us.

Have you ever had the experience of being engaged in a serious disagreement with another individual? You were absolutely certain that you were right. You argued your point, did not give one sliver of ground, and made it perfectly clear that there was something remarkably defective about the other person for not laying down and giving in to your superior intellect and obviously correct position. Then you learned that you were wrong. For whatever reason, you discovered that your perception of the situation was flawed and you had made a mistake. This understanding was probably followed by ...
 

Dear Family!

We are grateful for this communication and space. On our shared journey with A Course in Miracles, in which co-healing on earth is central, we have learned to regard everything through the Spiritual Eye of Divine Orchestration.

Music and Painting is our way to channelize and access our Soul's very essence, express co-creatively and share on a more abstract level than words or language could do. Language, however, is music too although its content points more easily to specifics.

For this newsletter we are guided to share some jewels from our co-creative endeavors. We have noticed there is an experiential knowledge of what we had first grasped as concepts and specific methods, and it is taking place more frequently. Driven by the desire to deepen our understanding of the Holy Instant, of non-reciprocal Revelations and the workings of the Spiritual Eye, we want to share some of our music and paintings in that order. We are mightily blessed in sharing and increasing the awareness of fearless Atonement in these times of massive celestial-speed-up.
 

~ A Little Song of Gratitude to Him
Who Leads the Sonship ~
 http://www.dnalovelf.org/freeatlast/HISFACE_2011_128.mp3

Our journey began with Jesus appearing to us in numerous ways. The most profound encounter was his portrait appearing on a blue summer sky, in the volcanic area of the Eifel in West Germany. The Bible and also other transmissions before the Course, i.e. through Jacob Lorber, mentioned such an event and Ankie captured his appearance very accurately. This painting will soon be available as a print, in limited quantities. The Song's lyrics are written by the late Michael Garneaud from London, called "His Face." Thanks to Kemal Sumer for his gift of a guitar to play this on.

Yoshua by Ankie Caspers

~The Glorious Re-entry into Full Communion
with the Creator~
 http://www.dnalovelf.org/freeatlast/MAZ_Sunlit.mp3

After years of practicing the Course, with its practical down to earth instructions for miracles and for healing, listening, learning and doing, the aspect of the involuntary experience of Grace as Revelation dawned in our lives. Jesus says that the time is already set by each of us. This composition is given me to share in the spirit of readiness. It reflects the experience in a way that I could relate to it from stillness, joy and devotion. It is a meditational but ecstatic "ticket" and invitation to that state. May "Sunlit" join us by miracles and gladden our Souls in either glad anticipation or gratitude of preparation.

SunLit by Ankie Caspers

More music .... 

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*Maz is currently the voice for the Original Edition [OE] of A Course In Miracles, produced by SonShipRadio. A Course in Miracles Workbook AUDIOBOOK is due to be released on CD soon. As a translator, Maz serves the OE so that it can be shared globally; and as chairman of the Curtis Knight Foundation he produces local radio programs, internet radio shows and other endeavors to promote and support co-creativity on a broader scale. He was given the title of honor 'Ambassador of Multi-Cultural Flevoland' for his many years of creative services to the global and local community. A renewed web presence for SonShipRadio is envisioned in the near future. For now, his work is accessible through direct contact and personal connection rather than wide-spread viral web services. SonShipRadio welcomes the joining with those with creative skills so that together SonShipRadio may expand its range of services.

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I thought I'd share some of my favorite quotes from a book that has brought me clarity on many things. Like A Course in Miracles, this one really seems to get to the core of things. While the Course is poetic at times, this book seems to offer slightly more practical or straight-forward advice. However, the themes are identical if you break them down. I will share the quote and then offer my take on it.

 ~*~

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 * Daniel Tipton resides in Omaha, NE and is a member of  the Course in Miracles Society study group. He is in the ACIM Ministerial Program offered by the Community Miracles Center and attended the 2011 Annual ACIM Conference in San Francisco. 

*Yoga Sutras of Patanjali [read on-line] ~ an interpretation by Charles Johnston 

 

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