“You need to get over yourself!” Yes, these were the words of my nearly 15 year old daughter. Translation, get rid of the ego and come down to earth. My daughter’s advice holds true for those engaging in problem solving during a negotiation. While it may seem obvious to some, creative problem solving is a key aspect of any negotiation. The issue is that many times we are concerned with “what we already know” rather than what we need to know.

We learned this type of problem solving honestly in that for centuries, argument and critical thinking has been utilized as a way to get at the “truth”. Argument accomplishes this by attacking what‘s not true. We see this in our judicial system today where opposite sides of an issue are taken and each side tries to prove the other wrong. This method requires us to be “wrong” if we accept the other side’s argument or solution as better than ours. Generally our ego resists being wrong thus resulting in stalemate. In reality, it may be helpful to start from a place where you assume that everything you think you know is wrong! This will liberate your brain from old mental models and allow you to think more freely. Many times the best brainstormed ideas come after exhaustion sets in and the brain finally lets go of what it believes to be true.

Instead of working against each other, try working in the same direction. This parallel thinking allows both of you to look at all sides of an issue without worrying about appearing to be wrong. The first step is ...