It is more than a little ironic that you are reading an e-mail message that is about to warn you of the dangers of e-mail, but here goes:

You may be familiar with-perhaps even have participated in-"parking lot meetings." Those unofficial conversations (often held in parking lots following official meetings) that tend to undermine decisions, complain about individuals, and stir up discontent. They are extremely effective forms of communication, but they are not always helpful. In some important ways, e-mail has become the new "parking lot meeting." It spreads information (accurate or not) quickly and widely, it is impossible to stop, and it can be very damaging.

Many of us could not do our jobs without e-mail, certainly not me. I depend on e-mail to schedule appointments, share documents and stay connected with various groups. The Internet, with its e-mail and blogging, is an important technological advance that helps us work more effectively and efficiently. Many churches are making excellent use of these new electronic resources in very creative ways. Indeed, Alban depends largely on e-mail to communicate with you.

However, when a congregation is in the midst of conflict, the Internet, and particularly e-mail, can become a serious problem. Just about every church I consult with these days is dealing with the downside of computer technology as they struggle with conflict. 

Here are some situations I have recently encountered:

• A pastor has a frustrating governing board meeting, goes back to her office and begins an e-mail addressed to the board and several members of the congregation. She knows that she is venting her anger about what has just happened, and she doesn't really intend to send it. She pours out her emotions, feels her energy building, and in a final burst of triumph and relief, hits the "send" button- out of habit, and by mistake. Her "vent" instantly lands in 50 parishioners' inboxes.
   
• A recently retired member of the congregation decides that he is unhappy with the direction the church is heading. He has some time on his hands, so he begins to blog about the issues that distress him. Sometimes he writes from his own observation, but sometimes he passes on inaccurate, second-hand information and rumors. Lay leaders from the governing board visit with him, listen to his concerns, and ask him to follow the church's behavioral covenant which outlines the agreed-upon ways of dealing with concerns. He responds by firmly stating, "This is a free country and I have the right to freedom of speech."
   
• A group of members feels unheard by the pastor and the governing board. The group has had several face-to-face visits with the pastor and with individual board members, but their requests for time at board meetings and at congregational meetings to ask questions and raise issues are turned down. They believe they have followed the accepted norms of the congregation for expressing their concerns, but they feel shut down and dismissed - sometimes in demeaning and disrespectful ways. They decide to start an e-mail campaign to gain support for their concerns from members of the church and the wider community.

Your imagination has probably already created a picture of the escalating conflict in each of these scenarios.

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This article is reprinted with permission from The Alban Institute and first appeared in Congregations magazine, Issue 4, 2012. © 2012 by the Alban Institute. All rights reserved.