I am truly grateful to have found my beloved at my particular stage of life (late 40's). I've gained so many skills and learned so much through my previous relationships about what I want and what I don't want in a relationship.

I know that I want deep, honest, conscious connection with my partner, and I understand that requires practice and awareness as well as dedicated time. We take 3-4 nights each week just to be with each other and to engage in connection practices that we enjoy. I would like to share some of them with you.

1) Sitting in yab yum: Some of the best communication is non-verbal, especially between lovers. When we join our bodies together with our energy centers aligned and breathe, so much is transmitted between us. Yab yum has many variations, depending on your flexibility. In the basic position, the man sits cross legged and the woman sits on his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his chest. Experiment with cushions and even with a sturdy, armless chair to find what works for you.

 

2) Appreciation: Giving appreciation does not need to be limited to times when you are feeling gratitude. Appreciation can be a practice that is cultivated. One person simply witnesses and receives for a set amount of time (or until complete) and the other gives appreciation for whatever they are feeling in the moment... large or small.

 

3) The Noticing Game: This one comes from our friends at Authentic World, and we find it quite juicy. The idea is to be very tuned in to the present moment and speak from that presence. One person starts with noticing something about the other person, and other partner responds with "Hearing that, I notice... " and speaks whatever they notice in themselves or the other partner. This game can go as deep and vulnerable as you like, and it can shift moods very quickly. 

 

If you are ready for more embodied communication and connection in your life, please consider joining us at the Communication Empowerment training at Hawaii Island Retreat on the Big Island, March 3-10.