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TN Adoption Support and Preservation's monthly e-newsletter |
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Adoption Support and Preservation (ASAP) provides support for Tennessee's adoptive families. To make a referral, call toll-free 1-888-848-2727, or visit www.tnasap.org.
ASAP Regional Coordinator Contact Information
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Transparency: the Lost Piece of the Puzzle
ASAP's mission is to support families and preserve adoptions. When an adoption disrupts, we ask, "Why? What is the missing piece? Why couldn't this adoption be saved?"
In the beginning, foster and adoptive parents focus on giving their child a home, providing a warm bed to sleep in, good food to eat, activities within the community, and stability - a safe and loving family environment. Many believe that, once these basic needs met, an adopted child will become "a real member of the family", "a success story". What every child needs most, what a "successful placement" requires, after all, is a loving family, right? But often, adoptive parents soon realize, even though they have been charged with loving their adopted children unconditionally, this can be very difficult. First, they must do the hard work of learning, understanding, knowing their children. This work begins with foster or pre-adoptive care and must continue in order for an adoption to be successful. Without it, "unconditional love" would not be possible. When parents truly come to know their child, they are able to "see through" to his soul, his innermost self. Their child becomes transparent.
When children are transparent, their parents see past defiance, anger, lying, theft, opposition, truancy, destructive outbursts, hateful words, and all of the other negative and unacceptable behaviors adopted children may exhibit. Through knowing their child, they understand that she is hurting. Even when she says, "I'm okay," when she is smiling, playing sports, and making good grades, she is struggling with internal wounds. Their child's heart aches for the love of a biological mother or father, and for other lost friends, caregivers, or siblings. His thoughts often return to painful, frightening memories. He longs to know where his drug-addicted mom is and he is always worried about her, even though he remembers the times she left him alone to fend for himself.
A vested parent, a parent who truly knows his or her child, can see through the bad behavior, see past the always smiling face, past the pain, and love unconditionally. Their child has become transparent.
by Hanna Holt, MA
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Finding Our Children Unconditional Support (FOCUS)
Each month, ASAP's e-newsletter features a child who is in full guardianship of the state of Tennessee. There are hundreds of unclaimed children in Tennessee with no prospect of a forever family. Our calling is to find families willing to open their hearts and homes to these children. To view this month's featured child, click here. (3.5 minutes in length).
What makes adopting in Tennessee unique? Our Adoption Support & Preservation program - ASAP - is a gift of comprehensive counseling and support services. We will walk with you through the challenges and joys adoption can bring. Will you be the promise of family for one of these children? Please visit www.parentachild.org to learn more about other waiting children in Tennessee.
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Heather MacLeod, MMFT, is a family therapist with AGAPE Child and Family Services, working with the Adoption Support and Preservation program in Jackson, TN. Heather received both her Bachelor's degree in 3D Art and Youth and Family Ministry and her Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Abilene Christian University. During her time in Abilene, she counseled individuals, couples, and families dealing with addiction, marital issues, anxiety and depression, Alzheimer's disease and dementia, eating disorders, mood disorders, parenting issues, grief and loss issues,and more. Heather facilitated various group therapy meetings for recovering addicts, abused women and men, and recuperating homeless teens and adults. Heather has traveled to several countries and lived in many places around the world, and her world view and heart have been shaped by all that she has seen and experienced, making her a long-time advocate for adoption. As a therapist, Heather has particular interest in working with teenagers, couples, and families. She often utilizes art in therapy as an essential tool to help with exploration and self-understanding. Heather came to us from Texas in October of 2008. She feels blessed and excited to have the opportunity to work with families whose lives have been touched by adoption.
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from The Seymour Herald, Wednesday, April 29, 2009
"Legislation that aims to improve Tennessee's success rate in adopting children who were previously in state custody has received the unanimous vote of the State Senate."
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from Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2009
"Parenting an adopted preschooler is very similar to parenting any preschooler. As parents, you should not ignore the fact that your child is adopted or their experiences prior to the adoption. But you need not worry unnecessarily about these issues, either."
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For more information about ASAP Adoptive Family Support Groups in your area, contact:
East Region: Heather Butcher, ASAP Family Advocate -
(865) 356-4848
Mid Region: Brenda McElyea, ASAP Family Advocate -
(615) 352-3087
West Region: Kris Bowen, ASAP Family Advocate -
(901) 634-8199
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Cycles of Healing 2009
Education and Hope for Foster and Adoptive Families
Cycles of Healing is an annual training event hosted by Harmony Adoptions and ASAP. Each year's theme addresses a different concern of foster / adoptive families and professionals. With Cycles of Healing, ASAP strives to provide excellent training opportunities in East Tennessee for little or no cost to families. This year, Dr. David Cross, co-author of the award-winning book, The Connected Child, will present an all-day workshop focusing on positive parenting strategies and building relationships with challenging children.
Cycles of Healing will be held June 1, 2009, at the Holiday Inn Select, 304 Cedar Bluff Road, Knoxville, TN
For more information, or to register for Cycles of Healing, contact:
Heather Butcher, ASAP East Region Family Advocate
Phone: (865) 356-4848
e-mail: hbutcher@harmony.cc
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ASAP's Adoption Preparation Training
Helping families begin their adoption journey well-prepared for a lifetime commitment
Adoption Preparation classes are free to any Resource Parent who is adopting, or is considering adopting, a child or children in DCS custody.
When & Where: June 9, June 23, July 14, July 28, and August 11 (if needed), 2009
6:00 - 8:00 pm
St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church, Parish Hall
401 N. Washington St., Cookeville, TN
For more information, contact:
Brenda McElyea, ASAP Mid Region Family Advocate
Phone: (615) 760-1018
e-mail: bmcelyea@cctenn.org
Adoption Preparation training classes are coming to Nashville and Murfreesboro in Fall 2009.
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What is ASAP?
ASAP is designed to create and maintain a seamless state-wide system of pre- and post-adoption services in Tennessee. ASAP is an innovative program that supports children and families as they create and maintain connections and access services that support permanency. ASAP is working to develop the capacity of communities across Tennessee to better nurture their adoptive families.
ASAP seeks to increase the availability and accessibility of adoption support services in Tennessee, and to decrease the incidence of disrupted or dissolved adoptions. Motivated by the needs of families and children in all stages of the adoptive process, ASAP offers a comprehensive and coordinated continuum of services.
ASAP is a collaborative project of Harmony Adoptions of East Tennessee, Catholic Charities of Middle Tennessee, and AGAPE Child and Family Services of West Tennessee. ASAP is partnered with DCS for the cooperative implementation and further development of our program.
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