School of Lost Borders
Newsletter  Winter, 2010
In This Issue
From the Editor
Mid Winter Community
Mirroring in the Field and Beyond
Women ReWeaving the World
Forgiveness and Apology



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From the Editor:

The recent series of winter storms that passed through California, and subsequent parts of the country, stirred up a lot of excitement among the media. Reports of floods, tornados, mud slides, fallen trees, and upturned cars gave the feeling that nature was unleashing years of pent up fury.  Over the past few weeks, I kept an informal list of verbs used by news reporters, all of who indicated that we were being "walloped", "hammered", "threatened", "pounded", and "plucked".  Although I find the aggressive terminology questionable, it does indicate that during times of extreme environmental conditions it is easy for modern people to unconsciously slip back into the ancient belief that Nature really is an autonomous and living being who, now and then, has her way with us. To deal with this, our ancestors held ceremonies and retold myths as a way of strengthening the bond between themselves and the surrounding world. For them, observing nature's rhythms gave a sense of stability. Understanding seasonal changes provided the knowing that although some forces of nature aim to destroy, in time, others emerge to renew. Loss and renewal.  And, still today, isn't this the foremost theme of our lives and that which connects us most intimately with nature? That new life cannot come about without death of the old?   
 
This morning, where I live, the clouds have finally split open allowing the sun to illuminate the freshly snow covered mountains. The brightness and clarity is dazzling. Everything looks as if it's been touched by diamonds. If I was a news reporter I would say that we were being "allured", "astonished", "enthralled", "enchanted", even "loved".

With this newsletter we offer our own small stories of ceremony and renewal that carry us through these darkest months. Welcome to winter.

                                                                         - Betsy Perluss

 
Mid Winter Community
  - Emerald North
 
Within this earth heart
Seeds.
It is time to be born.
This garden of mine,
Paints herself in grey and brown winter days.
In starlight, water pours over icy ground
Only faith remains free flowing.
The seeds turn
Knowing roots always go down into darkness.
How could that light appear over the eastern ridge without
The faith of roots?
The garden has grown beyond the fences.
It will not be tamed by the faithless.
The rich taste of spring can only be found
By those pouring water in the icy darkness,
Naked and alone
With roots going down
Together.
 
Hawaii MIRRORING IN THE FIELD AND BEYOND
 John Davis, PhD

"Mirroring": the elders turn a collective mirror to the person who is narrating the story. The mirror with which we are concerned is not the mirror in the bathroom or bedroom. It depicts far more than the physical proportions of the one looking into it. The mirror of the elder's council is composed of the eyes and ears of the elders. The "impressions" which it reflects are emotional, psychological, rational, and spiritual ... Their mirror is almost always "positive" as opposed to negative, for they know that their validation is the stuff of health and vitality. ... There is no therapeutic substitute for a body of empowering elders. I did not say "judging" or "examining"; I said "empowering." The empowerment process is an art in itself.
 
From Steven Foster and Meredith Little. (1998).
The Four Shields: The Initiatory Seasons of Human Nature.

The School of Lost Borders' vision fasts follow a similar pattern. After preparing and clarifying their intentions, initiates step across a threshold for a period of fasting alone in a wild place. Crossing the threshold back into the circle of their communities, they begin the third phase of the vision fast ceremony: reincorporation.
 
In the School's usual form, returning fasters settle a bit (maybe a few hours, often a day or two), before a practice we call mirroring. This is a time to tell the stories of the solo and have them mirrored back to them by the elders, the guides. On the surface, mirroring is a simple enough practice. You say what happened on the other side of the threshold, and you hear the story told back to you without interpretation or analysis. Sometimes questions are used to amplify or clarify some part of the story. Yet, the simplicity of the form belies its power. I have found that, for many fasters, the mirroring process is one of the most impactful and precious parts of the entire vision fast experience. This is one reason the School has offered specific trainings in mirroring as part of our vision fast guide training.
 
In mirroring, the elders listen to another's story and reflect it back so that it will be more useful to the teller. We aim to re-tell the stories so that narrators will come away empowered and more in touch with their depth, richness, and unqualified value. Recognizing that each story has its own inherent meaning and wisdom, we aim simply to be a clear mirror to the story. Rather than needing to explain, analyze, or add to the story, we need only to provide a reflection of the personal story which reveals its inner nature and deeper meaning. The essence of mirroring, then, is deep listening. Entering into another's story is a gift of intimacy, always held with respect and humility.
 
This view of mirroring reveals its potential to go beyond a reincorporation practice at the conclusion of a vision fast. It is the basis for an ongoing practice and a way of living. Mirroring encourages us to listen deeply to others and to ourselves, to show up as fully as we can in the moment, and at the same time, to get ourselves out of the way. Getting out of the way, here, means setting aside our prejudices and projections in order to encounter ourselves, others, and the world with fewer filters. It means becoming transparent, as it were, to the flow of life. This happens in the immediacy of the present moment when we are willing to make of ourselves a fearless offering, with humility and generosity, and with no attachment to outcomes.
 
This is, of course, as much an aspiration as a reality. Remembering that we are always mirrors, even as we are ourselves mirrored, helps move this aspiration forward.
 
Calling Directions WOMEN RE-WEAVING THE WORLD
 Susanna Maida, Ph.D.
Four shields of Leadership Retreat for Women

 
Last September at the Peace Summit for Nobel Laureates in Dialogue in Vancouver, the Dalai Lama stunned a sold-out audience by proclaiming, "The world will be saved by the Western woman".

 
One month later, two visionary women launched a free 14-part teleseries called Women on the Edge of Evolution to provide a forum for women worldwide to collectively engage with the biggest questions facing us as we seek to fulfill our highest potential and make our greatest contribution to the world. Their initial community of several hundred grew to well over 30,000 in one month. What do we make of these happenings?
 
It's clear we're living in a profound moment in human history, an "in-between" time. The old ways are crumbling and something, we don't yet know what, is emerging in its place. Within that context, many of us are feeling a catalyzing call to action.
 
As Western women, we're in a unique position to respond to this call. For the most part, we've met our basic survival needs, we're educated, relatively well-off financially, and we have the previously unimaginable freedom to make life-defining decisions for ourselves.
 
Along with those privileges comes the opportunity - perhaps even the responsibility - to channel our immense capacity for being conscious midwives of change toward the birth of a vibrant new world. In essence, it's a call to leadership, a call to respond to the deeper purpose etched in our souls and to step forward as passionate, co-creative agents of cultural evolution.
 
As part of that evolution, the wisdom of the deep Feminine is being sought now more than ever. This includes women's innate capacity for contextual "web" thinking, long-term visioning, and wisdom-guided action; greater access to intuition and fierce compassion; tolerance for complexity and ambiguity; and remarkable skillfulness networking, collaborating, and sharing power.
 
Yet the deep Feminine is not so easily defined. To embrace it is to evolve it forward through us, individually and collectively, into a whole new expression in our world. As women, we are uniquely suited to lead the way with this.
 
So how do we respond to such a thrilling yet terrifying call? One of the best ways I've found is to step outside my everyday existence and listen quietly - to the truth of my own soul and to the intelligence embedded around me in the more-than-human world. Every time I do this I'm rewarded with a shimmering experience of being in communion with the awakeness and sentience of something much larger than myself. In this place, I remember the truth of who I am.
 
From the place of your own truth, you can "follow your bliss" or "follow your heartbreak" to the sweet spot where the gift that's yours to give links up with a compelling hunger in the world. The marriage of these two is the path to your own deepest joy as well as to the salvation of our world.
 
Are you one who feels this call? If so, I'd encourage you to find others to join with on this path. This isn't a solo journey. As women, our relational nature practically demands that we do this within a community of like-minded souls. It's a lot more fun that way too!
 
During the Four Shields of Leadership Retreat, I've watched the truly extraordinary unfold as a group of women gather in a safe and supportive environment in nature. Through relaxing into their most natural selves and accessing the deep Feminine wisdom present in body, psyche, mind, and spirit, these women emerge with a newfound clarity, strength, and inspiration to guide them in living the life they were born to live and making their most meaningful and enduring contribution to our world. Time and again I am humbled to bear witness to this.
 
As our world continues to unravel, my deepest wish is to have more women join in this grand co-creative adventure. Together we can discover ourselves as leaders who can more artfully reweave a new world into being.

 


drawing tree dead
There is darkness upon us; darkness is all around,
But it is the darkness of the forest,
So if it really must be, even the darkness is good.

(Sung over their dead by the Mbuti Pygmies from the Ituri forest of Africa's Congo)

skeleton  FORGIVENESS AND APOLOGY
                                                               Meredith Little and Scott Eberle, M.D. 
                                                                  The Practice of Living and Dying


When you look back at your life, or into the heart of your current life, how often do you find painful feelings of hurt, anger, guilt, betrayal?  How much do these "wounds" from past or present define your relationships today?  Do you shelter yourself out of fear for being hurt again and find yourself creating more pain, even as you yearn for loving connection with the world around you?
 
None of us are alone in this dance that we do at the edges of relationship. We each hurt, and are hurt by, others as we stumble and grow through our lives.   Many of us carry traumatic wounding stories that reach back into our past ... and entangle us, retriggering survival responses again and again.
 
Reaching for genuine forgiveness and apology can be one of the most difficult and most transformative experiences in our growth.  It asks for deep soul-searching, unguarded self-honest, and the human capacity for empathy.  It asks that we move through our pain to release the love and self-acceptance that lie beneath it.  The role modeling that most of us have received leaves us lost.  Acts of forgiveness and apology are often experienced as signs of weakness, power struggle, and humiliation. 
 
As participants in Practice of Living and Dying courses have dipped into this essential aspect of "dying practice", it has been striking to see what can happen when people are provided a safe, nature based, non-judgmental environment.  We begin to follow an instinct so deep, a yearning toward healing so wise, that the steps begin to reveal themselves, guiding us toward self-healing and the possibility of reconciliation. 
 
We have enormous challenges in our world today.  One of the vital understandings and tools that must be reclaimed is our natural ability to reconcile with trauma, change, and the many ways that we put distance between us and "other".  For the sake of our children and future generations, may we support each other to re-member this miraculous capacity.

Upcoming Events

Mid Winter Fast
February 17 - February 27, 2010
Location: Death Valley National Park

The Wounded Healer: Listening and Mirroring in a Health Care Setting
March 6 - March 14, 2010
Location: Death Valley

New Mexico Women's Vision Fast
May 5 - May 15, 2010
Location: Santa Fe NM

Colorado Spring Vision Fast
May 9 - May 16, 2010
Location: canyon country of western Colorado

Mirroring the Four Shields of Human Nature: The Art of Storytelling and Listening
May 17 - May 22, 2010
Location: Big Pine, CA

The Great Ballcourt Initiation Fast- Full
May 23 - June 3, 2010
Location: Inyo Mountains, California

The School of Lost Borders is a 501 (c)(3) non-profit organization committed to creating opportunities for people from all walks of life who seek ways to mark and celebrate the significant transitions in their lives. Solitude and silence in wild nature, the commitment to community, honoring of personal intent, and the acknowledgement and responsibility to bring forth one's gifts are the foundation of our ceremonies and teachings.

For more information on programs please see our website at
www.schooloflostborders.com