Dear ,
Happy Summer ... I hope this greeting finds you happy, healthy and having a blast despite the hot weather. I have been pondering what to share with you for a couple of weeks... I thought about giving the details of my nuptials and how life transitions can be wonderful and challenging all at the same time. Yet, what's really on my mind is an area of the Life Coaching process that does not get as much attention... that is, the way in which coaches assist their clients in moving them forward in spite of the seemingly overwhelming challenges, the indecisiveness or even downright FEAR. In other words, what's really holding you back?
In my coaching practice lately, I have been working with clients on how to get them moving, really going, full-speed ahead... It seems there are the typical seasonal distractions of summer vacations, kids out of school, the heat making people tired, but those circumstances are not the real culprit. For most people, FEAR holds them back the most; but I am also observing a lack of direction or a clear vision, feeling overwhelmed, a shortness of forgiveness (of self and others,) a jeopardized self-esteem and low self- confidence, doubt and uncertainty, guilt and shame, trying to please others, perfectionism and even worse, their own limiting beliefs that almost completely stop them in their tracks. Many people find that either their values have been compromised from past choices, or perhaps what they thought they wanted was not really the thing that was truest to their heart and soul, or they simply don't believe or have faith in themselves that they can do it.
Are you listening to the old discouraging voices that say, "I can't do that now, maybe someday; I am not good enough; I don't know; I'm not pretty or skinny enough; I don't have enough money or time; or I am too scared to try because I might fail?" Or, are you following the empowered messages that say, "These are my values, my gifts and talents and I will use them authentically and powerfully; I know with certainty I am on the right path; I am scared yet I am going to move forward anyway; this dream is bigger than me, and I can't not do it- Onward and Upward!"
I believe we all have an "Internal Board of Directors" that influences our decisions and choices. These "board members" are made up of our empowering strengths, life messages, values and experiences, as well as our weaknesses, fears and doubt. For example, strong board members might look like the accomplished self, the educated self, the experienced self, the loving self, the compassionate self, the generous self, the faithful self, the forgiving self, the passionate self. But it is also made up of the less effective but sometimes overpowering members such as the scared self, the childish self, the stinky self, the scarcity self, the not good enough self, the "someday" self. So my questions to you are, "Who makes up your board of directors? What drives you? Are you running rampant with fear, or are you racing with passion and perseverance?"
The key to moving through this monkey mind is to make authentic decisions and create strategies based on our values, standards of integrity and deepest desires, not the fears and mind games that can lead us astray. After all, isn't fear just "false evidence appearing real?" Many people perceive Life Coaching as a fun process of self-discovery in which dreams are claimed, goals are set, inspired action is taken, and an ideal life is created ... and yes, that is part of it. But Coaching is also about helping people move through the obstacles that typically stop them from succeeding and fully reaching all that they want accomplish. Excavive Life Coaching assists people in re-organizing their Internal Board of Directors to make sure they are well-rounded and balanced, including everything and creating as much momentum and positive outcomes as possible. The negative attributes are as important as the positive, but learning to tame the saboteurs is as essential, and ultimately rewarding, as the fun stuff.
So what's really holding you back? What can't you be with and therefore it is sending you in the wrong direction, causing you anxiety or completely stopping you? What would it be like to have life success along with peace, prosperity and balance? Wouldn't it be great if life got to be a whole lot easier?
Some inspiration...
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"
- Unknown
"The important thing is to be able to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."
-Charles Dubois
"When you try to be all things to all people, you end up being nothing at all."
- Unknown
"You must do the things you think you cannot."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
"If we did all things we are capable of we would literally astound ourselves."
- Thomas Edison
I hope that you will get going and move through the limitations that hold you back. And if you feel like you can't do it on your own (which by the way, none of us can truly be completely successful on our own!), please consider gaining a new perspective by getting a different support system or engaging in the life coaching process. Perhaps re-structuring your current Internal Board of Directors can be helpful. So, get clear, get courageous, get going... you have one life to live and it is waiting for you.
And finally, if you were one of the people hoping to hear more about my wedding, here are a couple of photos... after all, it is said a picture is worth a 1000 words. To see more, check out my Facebook page. It was beautiful, magical, momentous.
