Dear ,

I have been thinking a lot about LOVE lately- not just the universal love for others such as family and friends, but romantic love. What is love? How does one know if they are really in love with someone, or are merely in love with the idea of love? What does this part of life really need to look like to feel most supported, adored, loved, understood, accepted, connected with, or _____ (you fill in the blank) in order to have a fulfilling life?
 
In my coaching and speaking practice, I hear many stories about the search for an ideal mate, the excitement of a new love, the ups and downs of relationships, the heartache of an ending. I observe that people want to love and feel loved, and often those definitions can be quite different, even for the couple engaged in the relationship. When it comes to love, I find that it can be so complex, yet there are some basics that can apply to anyone. So here are my thoughts about love:
 

1. Love yourself first, that way you have something to offer the other person.
2. Define what love means for you, how you love and how you feel loved. After all, love is a choice as much as a feeling. Decide what you want.
3. Don't expect your love relationship to meet all of your needs- that is your responsibility.
4. Be afraid or scared and show up anyway- you might be surprised how wonderful taking a risk can be, whether it is a first date, the re-kindling of a current partnership or choosing to be alone.
5. Ignite passion and keep it burning, have fun.
6. Be honest- the truth is always good for you and the other person.
7. Know how to set boundaries, and expect congruency with words and actions.
8. Learn to listen and pay attention to what someone is really telling you.
9. Don't take it all so seriously. Learn to laugh and forgive.
10. Give more than you receive- it will come back to you in unexpected ways.
11. Honor the other by being grateful, kind, loving, compassionate, respectful, forgiving and generous.
12. Nurture love and let it grow, that includes you, your partner and the relationship itself.

So, love seems to be everywhere- in my client work, my speaking, my writing, and yes, in my heart. I hope that you have love in your life, and if not, keep an open heart and set clear intentions about what you truly desire.