Dear Harlan,
There is a Facebook group made by future students of the college I will be attending in the fall. It's an all-guys group, and in there they discuss girls they like (that's an understatement) and do other jerk things. A girl I have feelings for may end up on there soon as a topic of discussion. I don't want to be blamed by all these guys for being the one who gets them busted, so how can I still show the girl I like - and many others how wrongful these guys are without being traced back to the problem? If there isn't a way, then what's the best alternative?
Troubled
Dear Troubled,
Get out of the group immediately. Know why? Right now, you're just another one of the jerks. Participating in this group means being guilty by association. Remove yourself and delete anything you've posted. If you're worried about upsetting the guys on this page, don't. They are not people you need to impress. These aren't the kind of friends you will want on campus. If this is how they're talking now, it's only going to continue. Leave the group. If one of the members asks you why you left, tell him you found another place to connect with students. Don't write too much back and forth, because then there will be a paper trail. Once you're no longer on this thing, you won't have to worry about telling anyone about the group, because you won't be on it. If you feel the need to share what's happening, then you can always tell an orientation leader or professional on campus and ask to keep your identify a secret. Trust that people will find out regardless of whether you tell. And when they do, people will start talking about the jerks in that group.
