Dear Harlan,
I'm living with four girlfriends in an apt style space in the fall. Three of the girls are in singles, myself and another girl are in a double. We choose to live together bc we're super close and get along very well. However, she's dating a guy who cheats on her. The first time or two she kind of brushed it under the rug. However, it's happened four or five times now. The last time she was incredibly upset but didn't want the rest of us to be upset for her so she hid it. She also told the guy, and me, that if he cheated again the relationship would be over. I got a text the other day telling me he had done it again (once again w- the same girl). She was upset beyond words and I tried to comfort her as much as I could but there's only so much I can do. I gently reminded her that she was planning on leaving if he did it again, but she's having doubts. She told him she needs time and that he needs to prove himself which is a step in the right direction but honestly, if she takes him back I see it happening yet again. My friends are basically my world, and I really want to support her no matter what she does. However, I don't want him to hurt her once again. I don't mind being there for her, but she doesn't deserve to be treated like this in teh first place. My other roommates are already saying how if she takes him back tehy refuse to let him stay in the apartment, but at the same time, since I'm the one she's rooming w-, I have a bit more say in whether or not he can sleep in the room. I really don't want him in the room if he's going to continue to treat her like that. One of my family members said I should just ask for early warning so I can leave if he's staying, but since it's my room I don't think I should have to leave just because he's over there. I'm not sure what to tell her or how to handle it. I really need advice, especially because I'm basically the "mom" or moderator of the group and always solve arguements, problems, ect, and can feel a storm brewing when all of my future roomies start discussing this together.
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