Dear Readers,
I was recently told by a girl I was dating that she doesn't like me "that way". In fact, she says she views me as a brother. Now, I know that's really sweet and all, and it's great to be seen as such, but I am looking for a romantic relationship. Every girl I have ever liked has been either:
A) Plain horrible or B) only interested in being friends. It seems that I'm only "just friends" material, and not "boyfriend" material. I have only ever dated two women in my life, neither lasted long, and I have never reached "boyfriend/girlfriend" status. If there is any advice that can be offered, I will appreciate it.
Dear Harlan,
This year I had roommate problems and switched roommates. My new roommate and I have been best friends ever since. We hang out often and have a lot in common - except that he is bisexual and I am not. I have no problem with this. Since we tell each other everything, I asked whom he was interested in. He did not tell me because he said it would have been awkward if I knew, which was a red flag. The next day, one of his friends, who he has been with, asked me if I could ever be bi. Another red flag, making me think that he likes me. One night, I was hanging out with other friends and when I came back home, my roommate was really mad that I went out without him, and he left the room. When he came back, he told me, "I can never stay mad at you" and "Every time I'm in a room, I wish you were there with me." He and I are rooming together next year, and I don't know what I am supposed to do. I told him I respect the fact that he is bi, but I don't do that stuff, trying to get that into his head. Any advice?
Not Bi-curious
Dear Not Bi-curious,
Breaking a lease is going to be harder than breaking his heart. Talk to him face to face and leave no room for questions. Make it clear by saying this: "I'm looking forward to living together, but I'm uncomfortable. I get the sense you might like me as more than a friend. If we live together, I need to know that you're not going to try to date me. I'm cool with you and your choices, but I wouldn't live with anyone of any gender who wanted to date me." If you can't talk about it, then don't live together.
