Hi Harlan,
Both my parents are scientists, and they are forcing me to be a biology major. Halfway through my freshman year in college, I signed up for an intro to political science class and LOVED it. I should mention that my parents are extremely controlling. They require me to Skype with them three times a week for an hour, consult with them about which classes I take and send them my math homework every week so that they can check it. For the record, I've never consumed alcohol or done drugs, and I've never kissed a boy. I'm hardworking and responsible. I am willing to put up with all of this as long as they let me do what I want with my major and my life. I've tried to talk to them about changing my major from biology to political science, but to absolutely no avail (I've even gotten the academic dean of my residential college to write them a letter, but my parents ignored it). According to my school's financial-aid website, if my parents pull funding for non-financial reasons, I'm not eligible for any additional aid from the school (this means paying $25,000 a year).
At My Wit's End
Hi Wit's End,
Your parents make you send them your math homework? OK, this is an epic power struggle. It's a real-life struggle for independence. Before staging a revolution, try more long-term negotiating (lasting three years). During this negotiation period, prepare to take action upon graduation. For now, you need them. Continue to look for mediators who speak their language. Next time, explain your dilemma to the natural-
sciences dean and see if he or she can help you find a solution. Perhaps the dean can talk to your parents or write a letter to them explaining how you can be both a biology major and a political-science major. If this doesn't work, enlist a spiritual leader who speaks their language. If this doesn't work, consider being a biology major and a political-science minor. If this doesn't work, find clubs and activities that will allow you to flex your political-science muscle. Plan on acing your LSATs and going to law school. Have a conversation with a financial-aid adviser and make sure you have a detailed plan on how to gain independence. Give your parents permission to be afraid, give them permission to love you too much, but don't allow them to dictate how you spend the rest of YOUR life.
Offer your own advice to Wit's End > click here
Need advice? Write Harlan > click here
