Dear Harlan,

I keep running into the same issue when it comes to girls. It seems like every time I like a girl and she likes me back, things start to get weird. What I mean is that the girl starts to get clingy, and says ridiculous things like "Why don't you talk to me?" or "Why didn't you text me back right away?" and all this happens within the first week or so. What is going on?

Dating

 

Dear Dating,

It's like bad body odor you can't escape - when the odor keeps following you, it could mean that the stink might be coming from you. Now don't get mad or defensive. I'm just thinking that you might be the source of the problem. I have no idea what you're doing on these dates, but for some reason, these women feel very connected to you and want more attention from you. That's not a bad thing for them to want. It's not unreasonable. It's not being clingy. They don't want to be ignored. And clearly, that's what they think you're doing. When a girl asks you "Why don't you talk to me?" it's a sign she feels ignored. So talk to these girls when they act "clingy" or needy. Respond to their texts (that's not so hard). When you talk to them, ask if you make them feel ignored. Maybe you're giving off a vibe that you don't care. Instead of blaming these girls and avoiding them, find out what you're doing and accept it, or change it. The answer might be as simple as explaining that you're busy and then sharing what it is you're looking for in a relationship. Talk to them the next time this happens and get back to me. My guess - once you stop ignoring them, the problem will go away.