I am a 17-year-old girl who has accepted the fact that I am a lesbian. However, I am afraid of coming out - not for fear of what my peers will think, but for fear of my family. I come from a very strict Christian household, and both of my parents are pastors of a church. They are constantly demeaning and bad-mouthing the gay community. They claim that God didn't make anyone that way, but rather it was Satan that did this. I choose to believe otherwise. The biggest problem is that I want to go to a college that is accepting of gays, so that I would at least be able to go to my college and be open. But I am afraid that if I came out, my parents would cut off all funding of my education and would want nothing to do with me. What would be the best solution for my problem?

Desperate and Confused

 

Dear Desperate,

What's the rush? You'll be a lesbian for a very long time, and your parents will be Christians for a very long time. If your parents are going to freak out, wait until you're at a place and time in life where you can be supported and loved regardless of your parents' reaction. Look for a school with strong academics and a strong GLBT community. Find lesbian and gay friends who have come out and ask them for advice. Talk to a spiritual leader on or near campus who has counseled students and families during the coming out process. Find a therapist to support you. Check out PFLAG (www.pflag.org) and reach out to other parents for advice. Establish a support system first and then figure out the best approach and time to come out. Really, there's no rush.

 

 >> Share YOUR Advice For Desperate