Dear Harlan,

I'm a 21-year-old female, and I've been single for a while. My friends and family have decided this means I'm a failure at life, and they are pressuring me to get a boyfriend. What's the best way to get them to shut up and let me enjoy sleeping around while I'm young enough and cute enough to do it?

Happily Single

 

Dear Happily Single,

You don't have to be young and cute to sleep around - older and not-so-cute women do it too. So, why are you so defensive? If you're this comfortable with your lifestyle, it shouldn't matter what other people think. Maybe you're not as comfortable with it as you think. Instead of assuming the people who love you most think you're a failure because you're single, they might be afraid that your choices will get you hurt, pregnant or disrespected. They might think you're looking for sexual attention to compensate for a lack of confidence. The next time someone makes you feel like a failure for being single, instead of attacking them or ignoring them, find out exactly what concerns them. If you're truly comfortable with your lifestyle, nothing you hear will upset you. It will only reinforce what you already know. If what they share throws you, look at your decisions and either get comfortable with them or change them. Only then can you sleep around and feel good about it.