Dear Harlan,

My girlfriend and I are having problems. My ex and I dated for a year, but never did anything sexual. She broke up with me because she thought, toward the end, that we were just comfortable, and I believe that was true. The two of us see each other all the time because we have the same major and have similar classes. She's one of my closest friends. My current girlfriend doesn't like it. She doesn't want me to stop being friends with my ex, but she doesn't really want to see or hear about her. I'm worried, because it is tearing apart our relationship. I know this will happen again in the future. My current girlfriend and I have been dating for only about two weeks. I don't want to hurt her any more than she has been. Her last boyfriend cheated on her, and I think that's where most of the problem is, but this would happen with anyone.

Friends With My Ex

 

Dear Friends,

Heck NO! I wouldn't want my significant other spending a large part of her free time with an ex she dated for a year (who dumped her). I'm not the jealous type, but it's not cool to expect her to be OK with this. If you want to keep this girlfriend, you're going to need to put some more space between you and your ex/friend. Once you have a closer relationship with your new girlfriend, there might be more room to have your friend in your life. But it's not weird for this girl to be uncomfortable. If anything, the fact that she can be honest with you is a good thing. If you're not looking to compromise, date someone else. Just expect that someone else to spend a lot of time with her ex, too.