Dear Harlan,

I'm having a hard time understanding guys lately. Why do boys have such a hard time opening up and expressing themselves? Why do they have such a hard time opening up to the person they care about the most, and then eventually push her away? This seems to be happening to me on a regular basis. Help!

Pushed

 

Dear Pushed,

Please don't lump all us men into the cold and unfeeling category. Some women can be just as unfeeling. You'd be surprised just how many men are willing be vulnerable. Look at the Speaker of the House, John Boehner. He cried on "60 Minutes" and on national TV. He loves to cry, and he's a powerful guy. I'm crying right now (not really, but I'm not afraid to be vulnerable). You're just not finding the right guys. A lot of sensitive guys are so worried about making you uncomfortable that they don't want to make the first move. They don't want to look creepy. So make the move. Talk to men who interest you. Do it during the day. Do it while sober. And do it in a place you can talk. It's hard to gauge someone's emotional depth following a drunken hookup at a party. Connect with a guy over a long period of time. Watch him in action. See how he interacts with friends, family and exes. Get to know him long enough to feel comfortable asking him about his most uncomfortable moments. If he can't open up soon enough, move on. We're out there. You just have to work a little harder to find us.

 

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